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Wednesday, 23 July 2014

DD blog land, not always as it seems

Two and a half years ago I started this blog.

I was in a different place then and so was my husband.

We had dabbled with Dd for 2 years or so and were still really finding our feet.

At the time I was very much involved in the online Dd community and was rather obsessed with reading blogs and interacting with other people.  I found it really hard to live a life that was private. I wanted my friends to know. I wanted to meet others. I wanted to be able to be open about it and not worry that my husband would be judged.

Now, a few years down the line Dd no longer defines us. I remember reading a post by redbootywoman. She said that Dd didn't define her it was just something she and her husband did.

That is the same with us. It's no more newsworthy than how we do our food shopping or mow the lawn, it's just us and how we live.

But back in the day I was obsessed with writing this blog and gaining readers. I wrote it in a way that I had learnt from reading other people's.

Now the earlier posts slightly embarrass me. I have gone through and edited a lot of them, so that they more correctly represent us now in Dd.

We also didn't live our own Dd journey. I think I was concerned about doing it 'the right way' instead of allowing my husband to find his own path. I would send him links and show him articles and so we ended up copying a framework of punishments and implements that really didn't suit us.

It seems so strange to think about it now. It was almost like we were living in a strange world, acting out a play even? We were trying to be something we weren't.

I also didn't blog in the early days about how difficult it was sometimes. About the reality of DD and the struggle of me giving up any dominant tendencies. I was more obsessed with blogging in the same way as I had read.

I wish in the early days someone had told me, 'Dd is your own path and you have to do it how it suits you'.
'don't copy other people's example, don't compare yourselves, don't pressure yourself that you aren't doing things in the same way as other people'.

Just like all aspects of our relationship it needs to grow and flourish on it's own and it will soon become the norm, just as it has for my husband and I. I don't need to try and be submissive anymore, it is just normal.

Also it's important to realise that blogs that we read aren't necessarily the true picture of an entire relationship, it is just the picture that the blog writer wants you to see. Don't try and emulate that picture, the chances are that it isn't an accurate one anyway.

Just a thought.
C

Sunday, 13 July 2014

The Boss

I was lucky to have had an amazing labour.

It was quick an easy and relatively painless...maybe I have forgotten already! I am lucky that all of my children have come out themselves, no pushing required.

This time I stood up and the midwife caught her. Last time I went to the loo and I caught her! ;)

After the birth in our local hospital, it is tradition for a nurse to bring you tea and toast in bed. Everyone says it is the best thing. After all that work it is the tastiest toast in the world and the most delicious tea you will ever taste.

This birth was no different. The nurse offered my husband and I tea and toast.
He asked for coffee and within ten minutes a tray was brought into our room.

Within two minutes I noticed that the mugs had different designs on. One was a mug from some animal charity and the other, I kid you not, was black with giant letters on.


I looked at him. He looked at me.

'Which one has the tea in?' I said. Trying to stop myself from laughing.

He went up to the mugs carefully as if one could explode at any time.

He sniffed both cups, then there was a long delay.

'Clearly, they don't understand the dynamic of our relationship', he said, diligently handing me my tea in 'the BOSS' MUG.

Friday, 11 July 2014

Baby no.3 is finally here

On Tuesday I gave birth to our final baby girl. It was perfect really. An hour of relaxed hypnoborthing in my wonderful man's arms. He stroked and relaxed me. Took total charge over keeping me calm. Our amazing midwife and friend was there throughout too.

After 10 mins of gas and air I stood up and out popped my little girl. It was very quick and relatively straightforward.  She had to spend some in special care after having some fluid on her lungs but we are now just waiting to be discharged and then our family of five can start on our new journey.

Daddy is very much looking forward to taking 'his girls' home. He says he wants us all under one roof where he can protect us.

Thank you for still reading after my absense. Life has been a little hectic.

C

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

7 days to go

In a week's time I will be in hospital having my third and final baby.

I can't believe we are here already.

My poor beloved is rather itchy palmed these days. We left it 3 months between having this baby and the last and he is feeling rather spankingly frustrated! Not in a sexual way, he just would rather 'things return to normal!'

I can't help but giggle when he seems frustrated.  Of course that means that he is likely to come down pretty hard after baby is here.  He says he will need to 'reassert our roles in the marriage'. So I am guessing I had better watch my step!

I recon I can be a very submissive wife and there will be no need for him to punish me! What do you think?...He isn't convinced.

I will give it a bloody good go though!

See you on the other side!

C

Thursday, 8 May 2014

New car that I'm not allowed to drive!

So the pregnancy is ticking away. I now have 10 weeks left! Yikes.

It has all gone so quickly.

Soon I will have a 4-year-old, a 1 year old and a new born! I hope I can cope with it all.

Our current car won't fit three car seats in the back so my lovely man has just bought a new car. We don't have a lot of money and this is the nicest car we have ever owned and I am rather excited!

My husband left earlier to pick it up and I said, 'can I take it out tomorrow to take the kids to their group?'

'No.' He said, without hesitation.

'Why not?' I said.

'Because you have a habit of driving into things and reversing into bins'.

I think he is slightly exaggerating! The least he could do is to let me get used to it while I am pregnant just in case I do drive into something, as being pregnant I wouldn't have any risk of going over his knee!

Alas, it will be nice to have some new wheels, even if I am a passenger!

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

The effect of my man

It's funny but the more I love and respect my man and the more I make way for his leadership in our marriage, the less he has to do to maintain our status quo.

Today we were shopping in the hardware shop for bits and bobs for the house. 

He said he needed drill bits and I patronisingly asking him if he meant he had lost them and was buying more as it was easier.

'No I need a different size'. He said. This was at the till just as we were about to pay.

I looked heaven wards and said, 'You have lots of sizes you have juts lost them, you are being lazy'.

He carried on buying drill bits and then we left the shop.

Outside he asked me to come to him so he could say something quietly to me in the street.

I had no idea he was about to tell me off, I thought he was about to say something about someone in the shop.

'Listen, if you ever embarrass me or patronise me like that again in public, I will put you over my knee, pregnant or not, do you understand?' He said.

I was so taken aback, I hadn't noticed.

I said I was sorry and we walked to the car. At that moment I could have cried. I am not sure why. I felt terrible. I think I didn't expect it and was also embarrassed and saddened by the fact that I had humiliated him

But I was so taken a back by my reaction.  I felt terrible. There was no need to do anything further on his part as I was mortified for upsetting him.

It's amazing really how different things are four years down the line.

It works though and that's what matters.

I love and respect his leadership and I really don't want to ever be one of those women who laugh at their husbands in public.  But it looks like he won't let that happen anyway! 

Monday, 24 March 2014

Am I weird?

I didn't expect to feel like this, when years ago we embarked on this crazy journey. But when my beloved says something like, 'I would never let you walk around with a skirt that short', when we see a woman in a short skirt. Or, 'if you spoke to me like that you would be in trouble', if a friend speaks to her husband disrespectfully,  I feel an enormous pang of love.

All it takes is for his to fluff himself up and put his arm around me protectively and I feel so looked after and appreciated and safe in those huge arms.

It's strange really and something I did not expect to feel.

I really love him and his bossy ways! ;)