Monday, 26 March 2012
I deserved a spanking
Sometimes I just don’t get a spanking
I know that many partners in DD relationships struggle when their HOHs aren’t consistent. This hasn’t been a problem for a while, but sometimes there are times when I just can’t believe I am not punished for something.
Here I end up in a tricky situation. Do I accept that he is HOH and that he needs to make the rules and I shouldn’t try and control him from the bottom, or should he be more consistent?
Sometimes it is really hard to tell him I think these things too.
It seems really irrational to tell him that I think I should have been spanked for something, when I hate it when he spanks me.
It is hard. On one side it really mucks me up that he isn’t being consistent, and on another, I don’t want him to spank me but I do want him to be a consistent leader of our home! – It’s all so confusing!
So the other day I went out for the evening without him. This rarely happens. This is because we generally go out together, and when he is working I am at home with the baby, so I can’t go out!
I was getting ready, and had all evening to myself. Baby at grandparent’s house and HOH at work! Hoorah!
I live in a very traditional life, which I love. Cleaning, childcare, husbandcare ;) and the like, and am usually pinny-clad and in the kitchen, or working on my business.
So because of this unusual setting, something strange came over me. I felt like I was at university again, or single! Not that I wanted to pull some other bloke, but I felt liberated and very different indeed.
I spend my life listening to Radio 4 (for no UK-ers, this is a talk high-brow radio station for the middle-class middle aged folk! – generally considered boring by other 26-year-olds).
But this evening I put on Radio1 – it was playing Friday night clubbing tunes, for people going out and enjoying themselves! I had a shower, while boogying along to the music and then I decided what to wear.
At first I put on a long summer dress, which I normally wear, rather hippyish, it makes me look laid-back and liberal, but rather mummyish!
I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, why am I wearing this, I am on my own tonight, I have no reason to look respectable.
I threw it off, literally on the floor, along with all sort of other mess that I had created, and found a dress that I used to wear early on in my relationship with my husband. This was black, low cut, short and youthful. I put it on and felt very sexy and a bit naughty! It wasn’t slutty, but certainly showed cleavage! It even showed part of my bra! (slightly ashamed at this).
I put on bright red lipstick, took off my glasses and glammed myself up and went out on the town, determined to have a great time with friends and drink heavily! (something I am not supposed to do).
One thing I must admit to here, which I didn’t tell my husband is that I knew full well that I looked a bit slutty, I certainly did not look like someone’s wife. This excited me at the time and I skipped along the street excited for my evening out.
When I arrived to see my friends (all with their partners) I felt very exposed. Not because I was dressed like I was, but because I didn’t have my husband with me. I realised at that moment that I am normally with him, protected by him and looked after him. He is a very large man, 6’7” and stands way above me. He is also well built and very powerful looking and usually his very presence is enough to make me feel protected.
Anyway I knocked back the drinks and had a great time.
My HOH had told me to be ready to be picked up around 12, and that he would ring. He also said that I should text him to tell him where I was and to not get too drunk. I did not do any of these! In fact the last time I looked at the clock it was 11. I did not text him, I got very drunk and I didn’t wait for his call.
I was in a bar and I turned round to find that he was standing there. It was at that moment that I figured I was in trouble. He was preoccupied though as his friends were also in the bar, so he chatted to them for a while and then said we were going home.
When we got home he took one look at my clothes and asked to see me properly, so that he could assess what I was wearing.
He said, ‘don’t wear that again’, and that was the end of it!
No spanking, no, ‘why did you get so drunk’, no ‘did you think that that dress was inappropriate’, no ‘why didn’t you text me’.
And that is the end of the story!
Oh well, perhaps he didn’t think that it was very bad! I am not the HOH after all, but I recon I got off lightly!