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Monday, 26 March 2012

If I were an HOH

If I were an HOH.
If I were an HOH I wouldn’t let my wife get away with much.
If she were rude I would command her to go upstairs, take her clothes off and wait for me, to elongate the thinking time.
If I were an HOH I would wash her mouth out with soap and water every time she swore.
If I were an HOH I would give her 20 of ‘the best’ if she misbehaved and with each additional problem, swearing or answering back, she would get 5 more.
If I were an HOH I would insist that she ironed my clothes, make me tea when asked and saw to my every whim.
If I were an HOH I would expect her to be prim and proper and contort herself in a respectful and lady-like manner when in company.
If I were an HOH I would want my wife to wear lady-like dresses and be feminine at all times.
If I were an HOH I would have my dinner on the table every day by 7, and a have a loving smiling wife cooking it.
If I were an HOH I would be greeted at the door when I got in from work with a cup of coffee, and kiss and a smile, as she lovingly took away my briefcase and shoes.
If I were an HOH, before going out somewhere where I knew she may embarrass me, I would give her 5 of the best, as a caution to behave well.
If I were an HOH – Blimey, I’m glad I’m not my HOH!


  1. This is so funny! Can't believe no one commented!

  2. LOL, I think it was too much for most people!!! My tongue was very much in my cheek when I wrote this, perhaps you were the only person who got that!!