Total Pageviews

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Spanking Questions answered

I saw this on my favorite blog, 'knowing you roles' and thought I too would give it a go.


Have you ever gotten spanked?: Of course.

Are you spanked bare bottomed, over panties, or over clothes?: bare.  Unless it's a swat when HOH is cross and needs to deal with something instantly.

What is the best thing about being spanked?: It helps me to correct my behavior.  It also allows me to respect my husband more, it makes he seem even more powerful, and helps me to be submissive.

What position do you get spanked in?OTK or sometimes over the bed.

Have you ever gotten spanked in public?: No thank goodness.  

What do you get spanked with the most?: His hand.

On a scale of 1-10 how much does the average spanking hurt?: It's all relative. He claims it has never gone over a level 6/10 but I can't imagine it getting much worse when it's a bad one.
Have you ever been spanked for something you don't feel you deserve?: 
No.  Sometimes I go into the punishment time thinking 'I don't get it'.  But he will ensure during the 'lecture' that I do understand, and I normally do. 

Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush?: Yep, but it's been a long time. 

Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?: No.  But I don't cry as a general rule.

Were you spanked as a child?: No. Well not really.  My mother would loose her temper and pull my hands up and wallop me round the bottom.  My father once smacked me (just once!) and instantly regretted it and later apologized and felt terrible.  I remember thinking that's silly, I respected you for following through, and now you have taken it back.  But as a parent I understand more now why he did.

Do you think spanking is fun?: 
No.  He used to spank me gently in foreplay, but he doesn't now.

What does the HoH say to you before your spanking?: He sits me down beside him and says, 'Do you know why I am going to spank you?'.  Then we discuss it, and I understand what I did and why it was wrong, or why it disappointed him.

Have you ever gotten spanked for bad driving (speeding ticket, etc)?: Yep.  Putting on makeup at the wheel, texting, and driving without a seatbelt (which I won't be doing again!) 

Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?: 
Rarely a maintenance spank, but then the reason is to reassert his dominance, so no.
Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher?: Not really.  I went to a private school where the staff were really sadistic.  For the years I went there the only memories are of punishment of others or myself.  But they used to do things like, soap in the mouth, cutting someones hair for playing with it, and standing in the corner.  I was bitten once for biting another child.  I remember other people being spanked though, even in assembly.

Is your butt spankable?: Not sure what this means.

Is spanking your hobbie?: NO, are you a fool! why would I do it for fun!

Are you currently in trouble? No. - HOORAY!

Do you get lectured during the spanking?: No, before.  And I get a 'your not going to do that again are you?' at the end.

Have you ever seen someone else get spanked?: No. 

Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing?: yes.

Have you ever gotten spanked for lying?: Yes.

Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument in one spanking session?: Yes. If hand counts. But he hasn't bought a paddle or anything yet.

Do you hate spankings?: Yes.

How many people spank you?: ??? only my Husband.

Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?: what does this mean? does it mean touching your toes? cause if it does then no.
Have you ever gotten spanked so hard you butt was purple?: No.  But I bruise easily.
Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?: It works for us, but I really hate longer punishments like withdrawl of privledges.

Do you believe spanking has made your relationship better, or worse? Better.

Is your butt red and sore afterwards?: Yeah. 

Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker?: ummm I think so.  It was some sort of shoe, I don't remember! 

Have you ever been spanked twice in one day?: I don't think so, but maybe.

Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?: Yes once, when he was upset about something I had done.  I wanted him to forgive me, but he still found it hard afterwards!
Would you talk about spousal spankings to your friends/family members?: Yes, I would love to, but most would run a mile!

Have you ever gotten you butt caned?: No, thank goodness, he hasn't bought any implements as yet.
Do you cry?: Never but I would love to. 
Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon?: Nope, we don't have any big enough!

What do you get spanked for?: breaking rules, going over my internet allowance and being disrespectful.
 On average, how many times a month are you spanked?: probably 6-8

How many swats do you get for the average offense?: I sometimes try to count, but I lose count, its too painful. But more than 40.

Do your friends know that you get spanked?: No, some. I wish they did.

On a 1-10 scale, how hard would you get spanked for something serious,such as speeding?: Probably for me a 10, but he thinks things arent as serious, so he would say a 7 I guess.

Have you ever gotten your butt belted?: yep alot, his method of choice!
Have you ever gotten your butt paddled?: No he hasn't bought one yet! - I say yet as he tells me he will.

After your spanking is over, how long before you repeat the same offense?:It depends. some rules i break alot, but major things like not wearing a seatbelt I won't repeat it!

Does your spouse enjoy spanking you?: Spanking me I presume! I think he does sometimes.  I likes to asert his authority. 

When is the last time you got spanked?: Sunday. (it's now Tuesday)

Have you ever spanked yourself? LOL no!

What is the worst thing about being spanked?: I hate waiting, and dissapointing, and ruining my effort to behave! 
Does anyone aside from your spouse/significant other spank you? No, just my husband. 
How long does the spanking last?: How long is a ball of string! Sometimes a long time. 

 Do you get spanked hard?: Yes sometimes.

Do you like to be spanked?: No way.  I like him being the boss, and looking after me and our daughter.  If this is what is included, then I like it.  But I HATE the spanking. 

Would you describe yourself as a rule follower, or a rule breaker?: a breaker by nature! But I try really hard!

so there we go.  That was fun, and interesting to do, like when you are a teen and answer quizes in a magazine.  Gotta go, I am dangerously close to my internet time!


  1. I hope whoever answered the questions above wasn't/weren't being serious! I assume they're from a real lady, and I'll address this person as a second person (i.e. "you").

    Why get spanked when you break a rule? Is it really necessary? I don't think so: no one should be maltreated or punished in such a horrible way/ any horrible way!

    If you're relying on this form of punishment to learn proper behaviour then you aren't really picking up the essence/ meaning of the proper behaviour... but only the fear of you being tortured for not performing the exact desired behaviour. Is this superficial learning worth your time/ energy?

    There must be better ways to learn good behaviour, such as through imitation and reflection! You may need a role model to help you for the former, without needing to be spanked again!

    It sounds like you may have had a rather rough childhood and may have become a sadistic person without fully realising it... and you have become your own victim.

    You hate being spanked but want it to happen to correct your behaviour? You seem very conflicted, and would probably be happier if you tried to think of your own situation as a third party/ went to see a psychologist or counsellor and see what needs to happen to truly improve your situation.

    A happy relationship isn't all about you sacrificing... it is two-sided. A person who truly loves you won't want you to suffer. Please... wake up.

    Take care, lady.

    Please don't get hurt... please don't let yourself be tortured. You deserve better (painless better).

    God bless.

    1. Hi Anonymous!

      This is clearly the first time you have read a Domestic Discipline blog. There are thousands out there and hundreds of thousands of participants.

      This is a lifestyle we want and a lifestyle that unfortunately you do not understand.

      This has nothing to do with me 'rough childhood' and please refrain from calling me sadistic.

      My husband also sacrifices, he takes full responsibility for our family.

      The sad thing is that you will never learn the connection, trust and love that comes from this lifestyle, but I hope you find it somewhere.


    2. I am into taken in hand ,domestic discipline and those who does not understand our life style and it is our choice to live this way should stay out of this website.Daniela a lovely and sweet submissive girl.

    3. I have never been spanked, but I have the desire to be spanked on my bare bottom with a paddle. How do I get my husband to spank me?

    4. Omg did I get a good spanking last night for posting pictures of myself on facebook and I have to say it hurt it was with his hand so I can only imagine what the belt would of felt like but I know the next time it will be the belt.about an hour later he hugged and told me he loves me thenwe made love iI love my husband!!!

    5. My husband spanks me everytime I misbehave with his hand or belt. After some spankings or whippings have lasted for several days that I cant sit. When he is spanking or whipping me he will tell me that I won't be able to sit for a few days.

  2. This is one really awful lifestyle.

    So it shows how the man is 'the boss' of the family? Why? Why did he deserve it, and you didn't? I am not a feminist, of course, but I can't stand any kinds of discrimination. If my husband would even think about spanking me, I would divorce him instantly.

    Okay, I see that you chose it, but it's still not fair towards you. Why don't you spank him sometimes? And if someone would spank me, my pride would be destroyed... I'm too proud for stuff like that.

    1. He only has the right because I have given him the right. I could equally revoke that right at any point, but I feel he has the right to outrank me in our family. He in my family alone, not every man in every family. I do this as in every relationship someone takes a higher role naturally, this is a part of human nature, just look at communism, in theory it's a great idea, but humans need to lead or be lead. I was fed up with the battle for a higher rank in my relationship, so I gave into his strength and allowed myself to trust him. The spanking part is a whole different subject and is my choice, but our personal choice to give him control is mine alone to make and effects no one else.

  3. It's her right,of course, but one problem is that many of these HOH males are total assholes who don't deserve the respect they can only get by physical force. Haven't read enough here to form an opinion of this one.)

    Another problem is the nonsensical belief that this is the natural role of the male and female. Or that this is what Jesus wants for couples. Every supposed "proof" of that is so full of holes it's pathetic.

    I happen to love a good spanking and will submit to one to please my husband when wants that if I decide to. But many women I know do not in the lease want or need a man to dominate them in in any way.

    Finally, many women have been brainwashed into believing they need this, and they, of course, have to cling to that notion because otherwise they'd have to admit someone less in control of his emotions and less intelligent than she abuses her to make himself feel like a man.

    1. "Another problem is the nonsensical belief...that this is what Jesus wants for couples."

      Nonsensical indeed! Jesus is dead. He cannot want anything. No dead person can. Death is the end of existance.

    2. This is an assumption you have come to alone. my husband and are not christian pO

  4. I understand why a relationship such as this could be conceived as being unloving as the descriptions focus on purely the spanking/disciplinary aspect. As for HOH males being arseholes... being an arsehole is no more linked to submissive life than it is any other aspect of life.

    I take care of my partner and make sure she is loved every day. I support her in any endeavour she wishes to undertake. When she arrives home from work I have already cooked/cleaned as I finish work mid-afternoon. I will run her a bath when she has had a hard week I will even wash and dry her hair for her.

    My partner is also happier (and it was originally at her request) that I am more dominant with her and punish her for being bad. She finds that this helps to provide structure to her life and enjoys the comfort it brings. If she swears yes I would spank her. If she does not get out of bed on time knowing it will make her late for work I would also spank her. Sometimes our intimate times are stricter sometimes they are more caring and gentle dependant on both our moods.

    I see no problem with this. This is what makes us happy. Mary Wollstonecraft did not preach women to rule all; she taught of equality within the sexes and the respect of women to be given the choice. I read the choice of a woman on this blog who enjoys being cheeky and pushing boundaries but knows that she needs someone to pull her back from going too far - someone with whom there can be a balance if her life to produce a happy productive relationship. SpankedWifeUK I don't think you should feel ashamed of anything. I think you and your HOH have beautiful relationship.

  5. It seems to me that this sort of relationship is more of a father figure type relationship. A part of the privilege of being an adult is that we are finally free to be responsible for our choices. No one is perfect nor can be but I think it is not respectful to use physical force in a marriage relationship. Unless of course you too can punish your husband if he misbehaves. A man can gain a wifes respect and submission through gentle love and respect back to her. He is treating you like a child not like a mature adult. Also is this how you allow him to treat your daughter. I would be concerned if my child were being spanked 6-8 times a month. 40 + smacks is not discipline that is abuse and if you think it is a 10 but he may see it only as 7 perhaps he needs to be on the other end to actually feel what it feels like. It just doesn't seem right or fair. Your an adult not a child.

  6. If you asked your husband not to spank you would he respect that?

  7. I get turned on by the idea of spanking in play, but this is such a turn-off. I don't believe in a true power exchange relationship. I wouldn't allow my husband to treat me like this, and I definitely wouldn't allow it to happen to our kids. To each their own, I guess, though I sincerely hope you don't allow him to abuse your daughter. Using a belt, hitting so hard as to be unbearable, is not discipline, it's abuse. I can respect your choice to live this way (as you're an adult and have that right), but I'd be enraged if you allowed it to happen to your child (or even in front of her, as what is that going to teach her?). She's innocent in this and doesn't have the choice to say no--that's where you come in as her parent to protect her. God, I hope he doesn't do this to her too.

    Obviously, this sort of lifestyle is mind-boggling to me. Marriage shouldn't be a Me-Tarzan-you-Jane arrangement--it should be an equal partnership. What happens if he gets a speeding ticket? Let me guess, he has to pay the fine and is done with it, whereas you still have to pay the fine and get humiliated with a spanking (and don't tell me he pays for everything--if you stay at home and take care of the house and daughter, then you work just as much as he does, and if you work outside the home, then even more-so). I guess I'm strong-willed, because this shit really pisses me off. It would be one thing if you didn't mind the spankings, but you do. You said you hate them. So act like an adult, set a good example for your daughter, and grow up. You're not a child--you shouldn't need anyone to discipline you for using the internet too long, or doing stupid things like driving without a seatbelt. If you can't control yourself, then how will you ever expect your daughter to when she's an adult?

    My two cents, for what it's worth. I'm sure you expected all kinds of reactions after posting this, so there's one for you.

  8. I don't often get riled up by comments on my blog, I get enough hate-filled, 'domestic abuse' accusations, dodgy sex comments, to be able to turn a blind eye, but yours has filled me with fury. At what stage have I suggested that my husband would take a belt to our two year old daughter, or any other child that we may have???? I am highly insulted that you think this blog is a blog about child abuse? We do not lay one finger on our children, and why the hell would you suggest such a thing when you haven't seen anything of that nature here? Hitting children in any form is wrong, it is not consensual, what I do as a grown woman is consensual and my own business. Next time you comment on a blog, think less about accusations and open your mind, it's called cultural relativism, understanding something from another person's point of view, before you accuse them of abusing their children.

    1. If you don't want folks making assumptions, then perhaps you shouldn't open yourself up to those assumptions by having a blog about your lifestyle. The poster didn't make that big of a leap in logic. If your husband spanks you with a belt, I can easily see why someone might assume he spanks the child as well.

    2. I just wanted to comment and say I think you are doing fine. If it works for you and your husband then no one else matters. My husband is everything sweet and gentle but I do understand the need to have things settled this way. I do not like my husband upset with me at all. It hurts my heart and I want to beg his forgiveness. I don't mean to do wrong but well we are human and sometimes as woman we have a mischevious side to us. But NO ONE has the right to judge another as long as it is consentual and you are adults. May you have a long happy marriage.

    3. I just wanted to comment and say I think you are doing fine. If it works for you and your husband then no one else matters. My husband is everything sweet and gentle but I do understand the need to have things settled this way. I do not like my husband upset with me at all. It hurts my heart and I want to beg his forgiveness. I don't mean to do wrong but well we are human and sometimes as woman we have a mischevious side to us. But NO ONE has the right to judge another as long as it is consentual and you are adults. May you have a long happy marriage.

    4. @spanjed wife my dear you and i both know those making comments like this persons assumed accusations and or future behavior, is the result of a closed and narrow mind, and the fear of their own individual existence. I am a Spanked wife and i like you love the life style/choice and its benefits for my self and my husband. I like hum having power over me being the HoH. this is a choice i made to ask him to do this for me. he had wanted to do so but did not want to ask as he feared my upset. he loves me as i love him and the only thing we love more is God, yes we are christian, but its not our faith that brought us to this, what did is it makes my life better and his too and we chose this out of our own needs and our love of each other. i am never abused and never used. we have children and he does not spank them, a smack once in a while and rarely at that. how can some of these people make such outlandish claims of us without even knowing us. Ah such are those who try to push their views and ways on others to fit into their small view of love and the world

  9. Yes it would be wrong for your husband to belt your child but makes it right for him to belt you?

  10. Dear spanked wife,
    I found your blog and read it with interest. Although spanking is not our choice of addressing issues my husband does not agree on (we just discuss them) I do understand that spanking helps you to better your behavior ans surrender to your husbands wishes. You say that although you are no fan of spanking itself (logical as it is meant as a punishment and they should never be enjoyed) you fully agree to this practice.

    What i don't really get is the following: how come, that if you feel this is a good thing, you at the same time feel shame and / or embarrassment for your friends and family? If you really feel this is ok for you, shouldn't you be able to explain your reasons and beliefs to them? I would love for you to explain this ambiguity to me.

    Thank you, Love, Maria

  11. Hi, great question.
    I don't feel shame or embarrassment, what I feel is that due to the culture in the UK, my friends or family would fail to see a difference between consensual discipline on my part and domestic violence. I think that because women in the UK in 2012 have, with or without meaning to, become accustomed to the daily ridiculing of men and the feeling that they are the rulers in their marriages and their men are there to be walked upon and used at will, many of these such women would fail to see that me, as a 27-year-old modern woman, could indeed be happy giving up responsibility and power to my husband.

  12. Dear Spanked Wife,
    I see why you let your husband spank youbut i personally would never let thathappen to me. I have a question and it is; does your daughter see you get spanked? if so i dont think that is ok! I dont see why you cant spank him too. Women have rights! And why do you let him do it so much if you hate being spanked? Also, doesnt it affect your sex life? Or does it make it greater? Hmmmm...

    1. No of course not, she is now three and a half and does not see or witness anything.

      We raise her to respect everything and everyone, men and women. We raise her in the knowledge that all men and women are equal.

      If she chooses this lifestyle in the future, that will be her choice entirely.

  13. Nuts - A M/F spanking relationship is a pure expression of love. My woman craves an occasional spanking. She knows that when she is being spanked she is being loved. ...and she is being loved.

  14. Wow, you got some horrible comments here. Jeez. Why would anyone go on a DD site and comment, if they don't get it?

    I loved your answers, very funny. I might steel the questions for my blog...

  15. I don't mean any disrespect by this comment, but this whole arrangement is fascinating to me. If you believe your husband is right to be in the dominant role, and you submit to him, you agree with his rules, and you HATE the punishments, why are you getting spanked so often? Why continue to break these rules? I think part of my confusion is that I really enjoy both sides of spanking, and it could never be an effective punishment for me. My partner does it for me when I need it (stress, depression, being in a slump) but not to me. Are you really not capable of following your partner's rules, are the rules designed so you will be getting punished routinely no matter what, or are you (no offense) acting out to fulfill a desire you're ashamed of?

  16. When my boyfriend and myself started dating I was a real spoilt brat. He started spanking me with his hand and would also use his leather belt. We have been together for 8 years and are very happy. I love him so much. He continues to punish me when I need it, with his belt, hand, wooden spoon or garden cane. If we are out and I misbehave, he will take me to the toilet or car, give me a quick spank, then put a nettle leave in my bottom hole. This itches. I have to keep it in until we get hole. When we do, I get a very hard spanking, usually by his belt.

    1. It sounds a bit harsh, but all ladies who were spanked before they were married knew what to expect. :-)

  17. My bf spanks as well XD I think your husband should let you spank so he should know how it feels. My boyfriend lets me spank him once in a blue moon >:) revenge XD except not really. But he should know how it feels.

  18. Hi there :) Often it is really interesting to see things from another point of view. I understand that this is the lifestyle that you choose and being an adult you have the right to make that choice. However, i think a good way of viewing morality objectively can be by asking yourself - would you be happy to see this happen to those that you love, not just yourself? For example, way into the future when your child was an adult and if she had accepted a similar lifestyle, would you be able to sit back happily and comfortably, knowing that she was having to endure the extreme pain that you go through? Is it not a feeling of extreme pain and anguish? - if it were my daughter it would make me highly upset. If the thought of seeing your daughter in pain pains you, then this is an indicator of the act being objectively wrong. Very interested...

  19. Hi there, no it wouldn't upset me. This lifestyle is not abusive, it's loving. If either of my children chose it I would support them.

  20. hi me and the hubby just started this life style how can i get him to be more stricter so i can be a better wife

  21. interesting article and wife has been spanking me for the last 12 years. sometimes as foreplay but mostly as punishment. i do understand there is a massive contradiction here. i don't like pain and i don't get exciting during the spanking at all. But...i know i deserve them and i do get very excited beforehand and afterwards thinking about them.

  22. The fascination with this lifestyle cannot be explained to one who does not get it. Some of these posts objecting to this arrangement between consenting adults are just ridiculous. Of those who object to spanking, I wonder how many relationships they have had and how long they lasted. My wife and I are a senior couple, well past having to explain to a '30 something youngster the "why" of anything we do. It works for us. Ours goes both ways as we share HOH. We can present the other with a "date" card for a spanking, with what room of the house, time, and what clothing to wear on it. The anticipation alone is incredible. The other is to present themselves for their spanking as requested. We can also ask for our own spanking if we feel the need for any reason. It all started with birthday fun and has become what it is. We enjoy it.

  23. I love your answers to these questions! They are fun and interesting to read. I want to thank you for creating this blog. a spanked wife in the US and have been for 4 going on 5 years now. My HOH and I are reaping so many wonderful benefits from leading DD lifestyle and it is nice when I can find others who share a similar practice in their own lives.

    1. Thank you that lovely to know. Long may you enjoy the positive results

  24. Before I met my husband I was just your average independent working woman. And completely unhappy. I love my husband and he loves me. I entered into domestic discipline of my own free will. And I've never been happier. At any time I can leave. I don't like being spanked. But I understand he's doing it for my own good. I have to be honest, I have deserved every spanking that he's given me.

    1. That's lovely to hear anonymous and just how I feel.

  25. I got married to an older guy , he is twelve years my senior. He disciplines me when I need it, OTC with a bare bottom. I am made to stand in front of him then remove my skirt and panties, he lectures me about my mistake and then I am made to bend over my special chair so my bottom is high, at this point I know what is coming. I am spanked with my hairbrush, after five stroked my bottom stings then after the full twelve I know I will not be able to sit down. I am not allowed to redress for two hours I have to stand with my bare bottom on show, its very humiliating standing partly dressed. I get this punishment but I always deserve it.

  26. I get spanked fully nude and have to stay that way for the rest of the day (makes for a very humiliated and submissive wife). No, I don't like it, but if I break his rules, I have agreed to it. As my husband always says, "Humiliation teaches obedience". And it sure does!

  27. I am spanked till I start crying, then he knows it's effective. Usually can't sit well for a day or two. I also have to stand before him and explain what I did wrong, why I did it, and why I will never do it again. Then I have to tell him I deserve punishment and ask him to please spank me long and hard. I don't know how many times I've gotten it, the highest I lost count at was 80 before I started sobbing. I love my husband for caring enough to make me a better person!

  28. Let me tell you the other side. I. Spank my husband. He is kept shaved and in panties. I like him on all fours for a spanking so I can see his balls swing. When I finish I put an enema nozzle and hose in him which he has to keep in. Sometimes I let him pull up the panties to help hold it in but not often. Ladies try spanking him. It's exciting

  29. I am in my second marriage. In the first when things went wrong we just argued. In this one if I upset my wife she spanks me with a paddle bare bottomed and I do her when she deserves it except I just use my hand. Corner time follows for the one who has been punished, with our bare bottom on display. This is always private though and not if anyone else is present. In that case it is delayed until we are alone. A very effective punishment in my opinion.