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Friday, 30 March 2012

Why do we come to DD?

I was wondering today why I came to DD.

Many people have wondered if it is to do with women wanting less control, when they are either a)the controlling type or b) they are in positions of control in the workplace.

I certainly am the controlling type.

Many of my friends either don't believe me when I tell them my HOH is my HOH (they don't know about the spanking), or they think that I must be wrong!

One friend who knows about our DD lifestyle wouldn't believe me the other day.  She said that because I had chosen to do this that I was still in control, but just controlling from the bottom! ( I would beg to differ and so would my bottom!)

I don't think that she was right, but it certainly is hard for people to understand who aren't in this place themselves.

The reason why people are so astonished is due to me and the way I come across.

I am very forthcoming with my opinions, very opinionated and a very strong woman.

These, along with many other reasons, is I think why my husband found me so attractive.

But it is also because of this that women think that I must be in charge at home.

This must be terribly embarassing for my HOH.  Often people asume that because he is calm and relaxed but I am fiesty, that he must be 'under the thumb'!

It certainly is strange that my HOH and I are here.

And it's not like I am a rule follower!

At school I was the naughtiest girl in the year, by quite a way.

Two classic quote from teachers in my school days...

1) 'C is like a tent which needs to be pegged down'.

2) 'C, one of two things will happen.  Either you will end up very very successful, or you will end up in prison, and I can't quite decide.'

I would be in trouble everyweek. Constantly sat outside the head's office, or i ndetention.  Thank the Lord that I am too young for there to have been corporal punishment at my school when I was in secondary school, otherwise things would have been quite different.

I was also an attention seeker.  I loved being on stage, or singing at concerts, but also I was the class clown, I made the staff and pupils alike laugh and I loved to play the fool.

This does not transfer well to DD! I am not meek and milk, I do not do as I am told and I LOVE to be in control. - HOW DID I GET HERE!!!!!!

I had a conversation with a member of the LDD Network the other day and she had read my blog and my HOH's blog and laughed that when we chat I don't come across as the naughty wayward wife that my HOH describes!

OK I have to admit that I am a little embarrassed at my behavior! Some of which is highlighted in my husband's blog (

I in all honestly don't know.  I clearly like to be lead and guided.

I have had a difficult up bringing.  I have almost a non existent relationship with my mother, she didn't come to my wedding at my request, and what relationship I did have with her was negative to say the least.

I was not abused, but perhaps there was neglect there, and there certainly was psychological abuse at times.

I really don't want to try and act like a marter.  I am not at all one.  I am so lucky, I am thankful everyday for what I have in life.

But things were tough growing up, and certainly in the past three years with my family.

The reason I bring this up is that a friend who knows about DD said that this is the reason for me wanting this lifestyle.

I am not sure that she is correct, but it's an interesting theory.

She thinks that because I didn't have that discipline as a child, or leadership or guidance, or even the caring aspect of a mother, I look for it in my spouse.

It took me many years to open up to my husband.  I remember the first time I cried in front of him.  I desperately didn't want to.  I also didn't allow us to get close for a very long time.

So when I eventually did 'let him in', it became a complete and total trust thing.

DD is that complete and total trust.  I gave him all of me, including allowing him to guide me and lead me as he sees fit.

To be this is so polar to how I was brought up, but perhaps this IS why.

I was brought up in a very liberal house where I wasn't really stopped from doing anything.

I was encouraged to make my own decisions, encouraged by my wonderful father to be able to do everything by myself, rather than to leave it to a man - oh the irony!

So there you have it, my theory of why I am like this, or rather why we are like this.

It's just a theory but perhaps a sound one!

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