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Tuesday, 10 April 2012

i am just rebellious by nature

I came to the conclusion today that I am a rebel.
This would not have been any sort of epiphany moment!

At school I was ALWAYS in trouble.

I feel that the more my husband squeezes the rules, the more I want to rebel.

Sometimes I will intentionally push him as I know that he will give me a few chances!

I now think I know where the line is, so I push right up to it and test to see that it is there.

I also do this however, to maintain some sort of control over things.

Sometimes when I am chastised allot, or lectured allot, I feel like my personality is being destroyed!

It is not in anyway because he is a brute! not at all, but simply because I am such a rebellious, does-what-she-wants kind of a woman!

Yesterday I tested the line as usual, just to remind him I was still feisty.

I don't ever plan to do this or anything, it happens in a blink of an eye.

He was really annoying me.  We had just had a day with his parents, who really annoy the hell out of me.  They try to control my child and my decisions with my child, so that by the time we had left, I was thoroughly ready to shout at someone.

The time came when we found a fallen part of a tree in the road.

I think I expected him to jump the the manly challenge of solving this problem.  I expected him to report the danger to the police, or to sort it himself, but he did nothing.

As we drove away, I thought, If someone gets hurt because of the tree, it will be our fault.

So to cut a long story short, I shouted at him and spoke to him like dirt until he solved the problem.

I say spoke to him like dirt, it was a few words, I can't remember, but I was not polite, and it was in front of our child.

He moved the tree, got into the car and said very firmly, 'I will not have you speaking to me like that, it will end NOW'.

I new when to shut my mouth and so did.

A few miles down the road it dawned on me that I may possibly be in trouble, but didn't really expect to be.  Normally my HOH says to me, 'if you speak like that again, you are in BIG trouble', but this time it was different, so I said to him.

'Am I in tro.....' and before I could even complete the sentence he firmly said, 'Yes'.

My heart sunk.  HE MOVED THE LINE!

The line that I had so often ran up to and ran back from had been moved.  I didn't know where I was and was SO taken aback.

'This is what is going to happen', he informed me.

'When we go home, you are going to go straight up to bed, sort out all the clothes in the bedroom that haven't been put away, change the bedclothes, bath our child and then call me when you are finished so I can deal with your behavior'.

I was astounded by the sudden burst of dominance, but willingly obliged!

So that is how my evening went. I tidied, bathed our child and then got a thorough spanking.

He only used his hand, and thank the Lord that he did, as I was still SO sore from the weekend.

So what have I learnt?  - don't feel you know where the line is, don't take it for granted, cause it might come and bite you on the arse (well spank you on the arse!)

Have a lovely evening all.


1 comment:

  1. Time with extended family can make holding one's tongue very difficult. Thankfully my husband extends me a little grace after those interactions but yeah, the full tirade would have gotten me spanked too.

    I think they do move the line...and fairly so...when we know what is expected and cross it when we know better. Doesn't make it easy but it's a great motivation to watch ourselves the next time. LOL, I think that's the same conclusion you came to.

    Hope you had a better day yesterday!