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Sunday, 22 April 2012

Please spank me sir!

This evening the shocking happened!

I actually asked my HOH to spank me! I can't believe this it.

I HATE being spanked.  The only thing about DD that I hate more is the fact that I often don't understand what is going on in my own head.

Why on earth did I ask him to spank me??

We had been away and I felt, in all honesty, that I wanted to come home and for him to say, 'right C, you need to remember that these are my rules, I am in charge and this is how it is going to be'.

But he didn't.

So the day went on, he annoyed me, I played up, he did nothing.  I played up some more, he did nothing.

I ended up feeling like a naughty girl flicking ink on the back of my geography teacher's coat when she turned around to the board (no? not normal? just I did that at school?)

I pushed and pushed.  The more I pushed the more annoyed he got.  I didn't consciously push him, but I did want him to swoop me up, lie me across his lap and smack my back side into submission.

I am not a spanko, I do not get sexually excited by him spanking me, or watching or thinking about spanking.  So why did I do this?

I am slightly worried that I am getting some kick out of him telling me off.  Out of the fear of thinking, 'oh rubbish, he is going to spank me'.

But I am more worried that this adrenalin, or kick that I think I am getting is not sustainable.  We aren't going to end up being a DD couple still practicing in our 90s if all it is based on is adrenaline, is it?

I am all confused now!

We were doing so well, everything was normal, I did as I was told (most of the time), but now we are in a different place.

I feel I constantly need him to reassert his authority, even if it is solely a look or a lecture! Is this normal?

Advice would be more than welcome!

2 comments:

  1. Hey, don't panic...really. I think there are moments when we need to feel our husband's strength and we poke at them for it. He may need to know that when you poke and test like that, he should react...in a hurry and put those questions of his authority far away. He knows how to do that. :) Of course, following through is up to him, but I don't think this adrenaline is something you need to get too worked up about. I would hope that it will pass as he continues to let you know that he is in charge and you are safe.

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  2. Sometimes we just need to be reaffirmed. Sometimes we just need to feel the safety, especially if things are out of our norm, outside of our normal environment. I don't think it's so much adrenaline as it is emotional connection. Sometimes when there is too much noise, we loose the feeling, and TTWD bring it back.

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