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Saturday, 7 April 2012

Will I get this?

It seems lately that I just can't get my rules.

Someone has pointed out that my HOH may be too set on rules.

I am not sure, that may well be the case, it's hard to get the balance right.

But I can say one thing for sure, I am thoroughly fed up with disappointing my darling HOH.

I can't cope with that sigh that he gives me when I tell him I have done wrong.

I am fed up with myself, so goodness knows how he feels.

Tomorrow I am due for a bad spanking, I don't want it, but equally I do want to wipe the slate clean and try again!

It's so disheartening though.

What I am confused about is, will he just spank me and spank me until I get it, or will something have to change?

Who knows.

What I do know is that I can't wait for my beloved to come home, but I am dreading the spanking.


  1. I struggle with this issue. Every relationship is different and unique to the couple. I work outside the home and raise our kids while he works out of town for weeks at at time. I try very hard not to break the rules that we have set together. However, there are times that I do. His main issue is when I don't take care of myself (ie breaking my diet or smoking)

    He will sometimes issue punishments that I can complete while he is gone. If that is not the case, then I have the added punishment waiting for him to come home. I would encourage you that we don't seem to be alone in the lifestyle or our feelings.

    I try to remember that I not only entered into this commitment willingly, I was the one who asked my HoH for this lifestyle. And, if I didn't make mistakes, we wouldn't be IN this type of relationship now would we?

  2. Thankyou for your comments.

    Yes that is very true.

    It is so hard when they are away.

    Somethings are definately different since DD, like the house is tidy, and I am respectful. I have great respect for him, that I may not have done before.

    But some of the rules my brain just wont get on with!

    But we shall get there anonnymous!