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Saturday, 7 April 2012

Will I get this?

It seems lately that I just can't get my rules.

Someone has pointed out that my HOH may be too set on rules.

I am not sure, that may well be the case, it's hard to get the balance right.

But I can say one thing for sure, I am thoroughly fed up with disappointing my darling HOH.

I can't cope with that sigh that he gives me when I tell him I have done wrong.

I am fed up with myself, so goodness knows how he feels.

Tomorrow I am due for a bad spanking, I don't want it, but equally I do want to wipe the slate clean and try again!

It's so disheartening though.

What I am confused about is, will he just spank me and spank me until I get it, or will something have to change?

Who knows.

What I do know is that I can't wait for my beloved to come home, but I am dreading the spanking.


2 comments:

  1. I struggle with this issue. Every relationship is different and unique to the couple. I work outside the home and raise our kids while he works out of town for weeks at at time. I try very hard not to break the rules that we have set together. However, there are times that I do. His main issue is when I don't take care of myself (ie breaking my diet or smoking)

    He will sometimes issue punishments that I can complete while he is gone. If that is not the case, then I have the added punishment waiting for him to come home. I would encourage you that we don't seem to be alone in the lifestyle or our feelings.

    I try to remember that I not only entered into this commitment willingly, I was the one who asked my HoH for this lifestyle. And, if I didn't make mistakes, we wouldn't be IN this type of relationship now would we?

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  2. Thankyou for your comments.

    Yes that is very true.

    It is so hard when they are away.

    Somethings are definately different since DD, like the house is tidy, and I am respectful. I have great respect for him, that I may not have done before.

    But some of the rules my brain just wont get on with!

    But we shall get there anonnymous!

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