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Friday, 25 May 2012

I did the unthinkable!

Sometimes when my womanly, hot-headed, feisty self is at the forefront of my mind, I do things that I can't believe I have done.

Things that I think, 'C YOU FOOL!'

For instance, shouting, 'oh F-off' in response to a lecturing husband, when I just want to be left alone.  Or saying, 'shut up will you', when my husband is telling me off about something while I'm busy hanging out the washing.

I honestly can't believe I do things like this.  I am not a nasty person.  I spend a great deal of time thinking about other people's feelings and about being kind to others.

Also my darling husband is kind, gentle, loving, leading, sensitive and does SO SO much for our family, he doesn't deserve such disrespect.

Obviously when these things slip out of my mouth my HOH goes mad.

But before he flips out, and comes down on me like a ton of bricks (or ton of implements!) there is a period of time when time stands still.

It is about the amount of time for my husband's brain to compute, 'did she just say that to me?' Then when that time is over, the fuse is lit, the bomb explodes and the rampaging bull steams through the house towards wherever I happen to me.

I feel like some film character in the wake of some hurricane or stampede.

Once he was lecturing me as we got ready to go out.  I was getting some shoes from the cupboard and I felt like he was going on and on, really laboring the point about something.

And I said, 'ok ok, shut up', it was really accidental and I didn't really mean it.

He was two feet away.  The second I said it, fear filled my chest and I braced myself for the inevitable.

As he rushed towards me at 100 miles an hour I managed to get a hasty, 'I'm sorry' out of my mouth, before I was turned around, bent over the table, skirt lifted up and swatted hard 10 or so times as he lectured me in rhythm to his movements.

SMACK, 'you' SMACK, 'will' SMACK, 'not' SMACK, 'speak' SMACK, 'to me' SMACK, 'disrespectfully'...

Then on another occasion I was moaning about something that was vexing me, in a womanly nagging, annoying kind of way, as I went upstairs, stomping as I went, like some spoiled teenager.  

He was still telling me off, as I got onto the landing upstairs, when I said not very loudly, 'oh for f-sake, give it a rest'.

Again time, the universe everything stopped for the time it took for my beloved to gather momentum.

Then I heard the pounding of his footsteps up the stairs.

I don't think there is anything more scary than an angry, disrespected husband charging up the stairs to straighten his wife out.

I stood in the hallway, praying that the staircase would go on forever and he wouldn't catch me.

He ran up to the top step, charged down the hall way grabbed me by the sides of my arms and lectured me about disrespect in a scary I'm in control here voice.  I was then whisked away into the bedroom and you know the rest!

So I have no idea which part of my brain does this, but I would very much like it to give in to the submissive side and stop turning me into a monster.

Today's episode was the worst yet.

We were getting out of bed.  I had constantly been snippy and had been reminded of this more than enough times.

I was tired and grouchy, still from over doing it, and my HOH had had enough.

As I climbed out of bed irritably, I said my last snippy comment just as my HOH slapped me hard on the backside.  My irritation rose, anger ensued and I kicked him.

Oh my gosh, I actually kicked him!

Not the hard, foot-ball kicking type, just a nudge with my foot, but a kick nevertheless.

I had lashed out in frustration, the first time yet!

He was horrified.

He pushed me straight back onto the bed and held me there by my arms and shouted, 'HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME'.

He was shocked and taken aback, and I was shocked and taken aback.

Just as the Big Boss Man was deciding what course of action to take, my daughter called us from downstairs.

Saved by the child!

To be honest my attitude and lack of submission has been building recently.  I know I have it coming.

I have been working so hard, and he has too as well as being away, so time has allowed things to slip by.

But not for much longer.

He is off this weekend.

He told me earlier, 'We need to have an attitude readjustment' - Oh great, I really don't like the sound of that one!

We shall see what happens tomorrow, and see how he helps to steer back onto the path of submission and back into the shoes of a graceful wife!


  1. Ah C, I'm sorry. Over here we tease each other about the wide duct tape that you can buy in many different fashionable colors to go with your outfit. Do you have some there or shall we organize a gift box for you?

    1. Haha, does that mean to put over my mouth so as to shut me up?
      And yes please!
      Though I'm sure I could get a spanking for poor attitude without using words!

  2. Oh I hope it all goes well for you. Good luck keeping that attitude in check.

  3. You've got some balls lol ---- and he's got speed. Watch out sweetie hahaha

    1. Both are very true!! Although I too can run as fast as the wind, if necessary and he himself has a great pair of...... (have I said too much!?)

  4. This was th posting my HoH found amusing, he recognized himself in the scenario, when they do finaly meet oh dear C it may be wise to steer the converstion to more mundane topics, or they may give each other ideas/tips which if worked out would rsult in less sitting comfortably for us both.

    His Princess