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Monday, 7 May 2012

Punished for stealing

OK, so a week ago I blogged about the fact that I had just stolen something from my mother.
(Feel free to read it, before you judge me entirely!).

So He spent the week deliberating over my punishment and this is what he finally decided.



1) Arrange a coffee date with my mother to give back the thing that I stole and to develop more of a relationship.
2) 500 lines in best hand writing, with no spelling mistakes entitled 'I must not steal from my family'
3) Severe spanking

So the lines are ongoing, the meeting has not yet been arranged, but the spanking is over.

He preempted the spanking by saying, 'This will be long and you aren't going to like it, but you need to trust me and you need to be brave.'

Well I did trust him, it was long, I didn't like it and I wasn't brave.

I had made it into this huge thing in my head.  I was terrified. So when it came to lying there, I was unable to bear it at a very early stage.

Now this comes in waves.  I have laid there before for a good half hour and made no sound or movement, but this time I was a complete baby.

I desperately wanted to submit to him and to take responibility for my actions, but I just couldn't lie there and take it.

Yes fair enough it was long and horrible.

It went on for over an hour and a half! (okay so allot of this was me sat up, refusing to lie down).

The strong HOH he is, he was calm throughout, well mostly.

His strategy for my refusal was mixed.

He spent a long time coaxing, a long time repeating that I needed to lie down.  He stroked me, he coaxed me, he got angry with me.

So what did he do, I hear you ask?


Of course!


Evidently!


Unfortunately!


Definitely!


The strangest thing was that I wasn't resentful at all towards my wonderful husband.

I loved him more at the end.  It was clearly hard for him.

The lecture was long, a good half an hour.  He told me how disappointed he was with me and that he had no choice other than to give me the hiding on my life! (my phrasing here!)


By the end I was cuddling his lap as I moaned that I couldn't lie there any more.

Although it took a long time, the length of time was a real bonding experience for us.

He felt that it was necessary and as head of our household, it was his job to do it.

I felt like the act was punishing me, not him.  It is hard to explain entirely, but it felt like the thing that I had done, the stealing part of my brain was wielding the belt.

Afterwards he said, 'Please make love to me, I need it'.

So I dragged myself up the stairs (walking hard at this point).

And we made love.  Later I asked him why he felt that he needed it more than normal.

He said, 'it was your vulnerability.  Your desperate want to go against your instincts and submit to me, despite it being painful.'

I told him, 'I don't ever want you to spank me again.
'I want you to tell me exactly in black and white what I have to do to avoid it.'

I also told him, 'I don't want to do boot camp'.

The thought of that spanking again, each day of the course drives me crazy! and the though of two more throughout the day.


So it is over.  I don't want to be spanked again! I want to be the best wife and mother I can be.

Let's face it, it's going to happen.  I'm going to be spanked.  I think my longest no spank period was two weeks!

But for now I shall endeavor to be good.

If you fancy dropping by for a cup or tea, please feel free.

You shall see me in the kitchen like this...



c


17 comments:

  1. I know you don't know me, I read your blog occasionally (:

    but ouch..I'm so sorry for the pain that you had to endure. I understand how you wouldn't want to go through boot camp. My fiancee and I are considering it. I also bruise easily, so I know how you feel.

    Feel better, I wish you all the best (:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rachel, I know you now! ;)
      Thanks so much for reading and for commenting.
      Yes Owch! it was all in my head though. well the bruises say otherwise! but it was so scary becuase it was in my head!

      We will inevitably do boot camp, but perhaps I shall suggest not another spanking like this one!
      C

      Delete
  2. Like Rachel I know you don't know me but I just came across your blog and have been reading all your past posts. I am cringing for you. SO sorry you were hurting.

    I am in awe of you for feeling close with your husband after. I hope you feel totally clensed and the slate is whiped. I also hope the sit down with Mom isn't too bad and that some good comes of this very painful lesson. Thank you for sharing. You have a wonderful blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Babe,
      Thank you so much for commenting and for your lovely words. Comments make it all worth it!

      I never used to feel close to my husband afterwards, I used to resent him, but I think it is how he approaches it, and how he talks to me first.

      C

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  3. Glad it's over. The belt is scary and horrible..hate it. I'm sure you are thankful that you made it through, and I'm sure he is proud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I did, hoorah!
      Not going there intentionally again in any hurry!
      Horrible.

      The belt is horrible, especially when it's in the same place, over and over again!

      Delete
  4. Morning C,
    I'm real sorry that this was so hard to take. I don't know that any of us would have been able to take it easily. I'm glad that it is over, the slate is clean and you feel close to your hubby.

    About the boot camp, while I don't know much from what I have read, there are no severe spankings involved. I don't believe they are supposed to be punishment-like. Talk with your husband about what he's thinking and I trust you will be reassured.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susie.

      Take a look at Clint's version.

      it includes four spankings a day, one of which is prety much like the last one i had! and each have a lesson attached to them.

      It's prety mental.

      C

      Delete
  5. Sounds awful, and I didn't read the reason why you stole from your mom, but hopefully this won't happen again. It sounds really scary actually.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Scary? the stealing or the spanking!?
    It wasn't scary, because he was wonderful and loving throughout.
    I am not proud of what I did, it realise after much talking that I felt she owed me something (she wasn't a good mother)!

    Thanks for reading and commenting.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dreadfully excessive!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi MrandMrsB. Thank you for reading and commenting.
      Different strokes for different folks I guess!

      For him, my actions were immoral, illegal something that could never be repeated.

      So the punishment was 'excessive' because the actions too was excessive.

      C

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    2. @mrandmrsb having just spent an hour reading this blog from top to bottom, the one thing that stands out to me is your stream of negative comments.

      There are a lot of intelligent and constructive comments here, and yours stand out like a sore thumb.

      I call "troll". If you have nothing useful to say, go away.

      Delete
    3. Hi Anonymous,
      Thanks for reading and for commenting.
      I thank you for feeling like you wanted to pitch in here.
      However I am not insulted by MrandMrsB's comments, nor would I condone any agitation on my blog.
      I thank you once again, but peace and harmony is always better than agitation.
      Again thank you for your comments and for reading.

      C

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  8. You are braver than I... I would have cried "uncle" which is our safe word. I haven't used it yet but I haven't had one that was like that. OUCH!! Good luck on your other tasks. I almost think the confession to mom would be even harder than the rest. God Bless You and Yours, Belle L.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Belle L, thank you for reading and for commenting.
      Yes me too, the mother-talk is the worst bit.

      I can't cry, I came seriously close twice on the night of my punishment, but I have only properly cried once in the last year. - It all stems from the mother issue!

      Cheers for the comment!
      C

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