(Feel free to read it, before you judge me entirely!).
So He spent the week deliberating over my punishment and this is what he finally decided.
1) Arrange a coffee date with my mother to give back the thing that I stole and to develop more of a relationship.
2) 500 lines in best hand writing, with no spelling mistakes entitled 'I must not steal from my family'
3) Severe spanking
So the lines are ongoing, the meeting has not yet been arranged, but the spanking is over.
He preempted the spanking by saying, 'This will be long and you aren't going to like it, but you need to trust me and you need to be brave.'
Well I did trust him, it was long, I didn't like it and I wasn't brave.
I had made it into this huge thing in my head. I was terrified. So when it came to lying there, I was unable to bear it at a very early stage.
Now this comes in waves. I have laid there before for a good half hour and made no sound or movement, but this time I was a complete baby.
I desperately wanted to submit to him and to take responibility for my actions, but I just couldn't lie there and take it.
Yes fair enough it was long and horrible.
It went on for over an hour and a half! (okay so allot of this was me sat up, refusing to lie down).
The strong HOH he is, he was calm throughout, well mostly.
His strategy for my refusal was mixed.
He spent a long time coaxing, a long time repeating that I needed to lie down. He stroked me, he coaxed me, he got angry with me.
So what did he do, I hear you ask?
The strangest thing was that I wasn't resentful at all towards my wonderful husband.
I loved him more at the end. It was clearly hard for him.
The lecture was long, a good half an hour. He told me how disappointed he was with me and that he had no choice other than to give me the hiding on my life! (my phrasing here!)
By the end I was cuddling his lap as I moaned that I couldn't lie there any more.
Although it took a long time, the length of time was a real bonding experience for us.
He felt that it was necessary and as head of our household, it was his job to do it.
I felt like the act was punishing me, not him. It is hard to explain entirely, but it felt like the thing that I had done, the stealing part of my brain was wielding the belt.
Afterwards he said, 'Please make love to me, I need it'.
So I dragged myself up the stairs (walking hard at this point).
And we made love. Later I asked him why he felt that he needed it more than normal.
He said, 'it was your vulnerability. Your desperate want to go against your instincts and submit to me, despite it being painful.'
I told him, 'I don't ever want you to spank me again.
'I want you to tell me exactly in black and white what I have to do to avoid it.'
I also told him, 'I don't want to do boot camp'.
The thought of that spanking again, each day of the course drives me crazy! and the though of two more throughout the day.
So it is over. I don't want to be spanked again! I want to be the best wife and mother I can be.
Let's face it, it's going to happen. I'm going to be spanked. I think my longest no spank period was two weeks!
But for now I shall endeavor to be good.
If you fancy dropping by for a cup or tea, please feel free.
You shall see me in the kitchen like this...