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Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Rules and consequences reviewed

After the monstrous spanking I got on Sunday, I had two reactions.

1) HOH I love you so much with all my heart, I'm sorry to have made you feel like that spanking was necessary.
2) I don't want a spanking ever again, so please HOH tell me what I have to do to avoid it!

I actually said both of those to him!

So we sat down and I asked him to tell me what rules were important and I asked him to give me black and white consequences to them.

This was really hard for him.  One thing you need to know about my beloved is that he is an artist!  He thinks like an artist and acts like an artist.

Not the painting type, but a musician.

He is a bit 'away with the fairies' sometimes, and so pinning him down on anything is hard to do.

I have often gotten a spanking because I have shot my mouth off and gotten cross after he has told me a million times that, 'I'll fix that dripping tap tomorrow darling'.

Love him, but there you have it.

Of course it isn't all bad.  He may not be the one who decorates (always me!), or mows the lawn (me again!) but I get some lovely extras.

During the first stage in our relationship, we shared a bed for the first time, (nothing naughty he said, 'I want to be close to you' - love him!).  I awoke to see him propped up on an elbow, staring into my eyes and with a smile he said, 'I've written a song about you'.

Now, for a commitment-phobe, I freaked out totally but what a sweet gesture.

So anyway, he's very arty-farty, as we like to say in the UK and so doesn't like to be committed to saying, 'you will get 30 lashes with the switch for saying the F-word'.
So after an hour, we came to a compromise and here they are, re-affirmed and tweaked a bit after a few years in his crazy world we call DD!


Three strikes and I'm out!
One warning, second warning with threat of action, third time spanked.

Immediate spanking

Spanking + other things (to be decided later)
I would like to say, I don't do drugs, I think this is a 'just in case you are ever offered!'

Driving Dangerously
Spanking and withdrawal of privileges.
Been there a few times!

Embarrassing the Big Boss Man in front of others
Spanking with grounding

Disrespect in front of our children

Drinking excessively
Situation based. 
And I quote, 'Well darling the punishment happens the next morning anyway!'

Spanking and corner time

Three warnings then sauce

Respect all instruments
Keep clean and polished, if not - a spanking
Years ago I let my daughter play our piano with sticky fingers! - it was soon pointed out that that was a mistake.

Don’t put myself or others in danger
Spanking + grounding

An hour during our daughters nap, if J is here 15mins in the eve, if he’s not 2 hours.
Internet removed for a week.

11pm + no replying to messages after 11.
Multiple times shortening curfew

Keep house clean in the morning – washing up, tidying, kitchen, living room, minimum one wash a day.
Spanked if house 'goes to hell'.

No interrupting
I used to get spanked for this as I was terrible, but I don't do it any more, hoorah.  That's one to DD!

Look after myself
No excessive eating, drink enough water, personal hygiene, eat three meals a day
Lecture, if J has to repeat himself – spanking.
If persists – structuring meal plans.
I would like to add here, I am clean, shower at least once a day and am a lovely smelling woman! Also I used to be an anorexic when I was young, so J is preventing a relapse here!

Look after Daughter properly
If she isn’t being looked after properly, write an essay and lecture.
Again, I feel I am a good mum, we bake, we do sticking, we play in the garden.  This was added after my request as I have a huge fear of turning into my mother and so now J can ward off any bad behavior before it starts.

So there you have it, our freshly polished rule, all shiny and reaffirmed.

I think I will have them laminated and placed on the wall about the kitchen sink!

Have a lovely day all.



  1. He must love you very much to put all of that in writing when he struggles with being pinned down.

    1. Hi Anonymous, Thanks for commenting.
      Yes he does. And I him.
      Everything he does is to better us!


  2. We also have a phone curfew, which I have found to be my worst weakness (:

    I'm very happy you were able to get him to write it all down, getting my fiancé to commit to a punishment is no easy feat!

    1. Hi Rachel, Thanks for reading and for commenting.
      Phone curfew!? - That must be a tricky one!


  3. Hi, I just found your blog yesterday. I have went back to the last four and read, so that I could understand the purpose for such a harsh spanking. That spanking was a tough one, I don't think I could have done it. However, I read in here that you didn't even cry.... I have read this throughout different DD blogs and am wondering if there is something that makes a person who is unable to give into their emotions more apt to get into this lifestyle? Would be interesting to look into.
    Especially since it appears that there are so many who admit to not being able to cry.

    1. Hi Anonymous, Thanks for reading and commenting.
      Good question!
      I am by no means an expert on these things, but I can only speak from my own opinion.
      For me I cannot cry in life either. It stems from a long time of trying to fight emotion and torment.
      This is a problem for me, and it really frustrates me.

      My guess is that it is so common on forums because allot of women/subs expect that crying is expected or the 'norm'.

      I don't think it is though. I think that allot of women cry at the prospect of a spanking or because they feel that they have 'let down' their husbands.

      I think that you have a very interesting point. Re your actual point, I think that allot women who chose DD are quite often, strong, dominant, leader-types, I am not generalising, but I have found this often. Perhaps there is some link between these types of women and their inability to cry? Who knows, just me surmising.

      Thanks again.

    2. Hi! My husband and I have been practicing DD for about a year and a half now. It has been trial and error. I don't have specific rules lined out. There are obvious ones like no lieing, or disrespect. If I wear a mini skirt, I have to wear panties unless he is around. (I go commando quite a bit, no matter what I wear) If he gives me specific instructions, I need to follow them. I am pretty lucky that he is pretty lenient but we are finding that to get this practice working smoothly, I have needed more limits. I have been a very independent woman my whole life. I have a will that I need to tame a bit and DD has been very helpful for that. We discovered my spankings were not hard enough to have the impact we needed. Good for my behavior, bad for my butt! I haven't cried during a spanking but I have cried after. My husband speaks to me before about my behavior, about how it effects me and him and what we are trying to accomplish. The conversation before has more of a chance of making me cry then the spanking. Don't get me wrong, my spankings now hurt very much but I seem to be more focused on trying to get through them then on what I did wrong. I focus on that afterwards when my butt is stinging and it hurts to sit on it! I always feel remorseful when being punished. I don't think I have to cry during a spanking to do that but we also know that the behavior correction doesn't happen without the conversation and the punishment. We are a work in progress and i am very happy with our lifestyle and DD.