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Friday, 4 May 2012

Submitting sucks

I am sat here, having walked home ON MY OWN, having left my friends all HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME, having not drunk ANYTHING (okay maybe one beer), and all because I am submitting to my husband.


Why! It just make's me want to stamp my feet and scream 'IT'S NOT FAIR'.

I have never been so reluctant to submit.  I either do, or I don't and I am not sure if this reluctance is a good thing or not.

Is it good that I did what I was told, even if I was reluctant, or does it defeat the object because I have not submitted lovingly?! answers on a postcard please (blog comment it fine! :) ).

So this is how it went....

Text conversation with husband (notice not the BIG BOSS MAN today - I'm thoroughly fed up!):

                 "I have arranged for the baby to stay at my mum's so you can get some work done tomorrow...

(instantly on phone organising night out to make the most of not having my lovely little girl at home!)      

... but on one condition, don't go out drinking tonight, (woops, too late!), you have been sick and it will make you worse and you will waste valuable working time.  Make sure you do this for me please." (subtext: I'll whip your ass if your not in bed like the subservient wife I expect you to be)."

                 "Oh please can I go out, please please please, I rarely get the opportunity.  I can't work tonight anyway, I'm so tired."

                  "Where are you going, and who with?  If you do an hour's work before you go, you can go out, but be back by 11 and your'e not to drink at all.

The conversation goes on then...

                   "Yes you can go, they will understand if you tell them you have to leave early and your'e not allowed to drink (yeah likely!), If X (friend not named) was there you would arrive home at 6am, drunk, and having drunk six bottle of Jack Daniels and with an industrial spanking awaiting you!"

My HOH knows full well that after two glasses of wine I am on the floor, and I love my bed too much to be out to all hours.  Not to mention that we live in the country, and only one bar is open in our town late, and it shuts at 1.30-2.00!

The conversation goes on.  This is where I was a little cheeky.  I wanted to ask for more time on my kerfew, but like the perfect haggler, I knew he wouldn't allow me what I wanted, and instead come to a compromise to show that he is ultimately making the final decision.  So I asked him...

                     "Darling, can I please stay out till 12.30 (I wanted to stay till 12, do you see my cunning plan?), the dinner party doesn't get going till 9.30 (actually 8.30 but didn't know this exactly)."

                     "No worries darling, how's the day going?" (gotta love him!)

                     "May I have a glass of wine with dinner?" On writing this, I realise I am, pushing him allot on his rules today!)

                       "OK, just one, but no drinking after please."

An hour later...

                  "I have had a beer, can I have a glass of wine too please?" (OK OK, I know what you are thinking, he gave me an inch and I took a mile right? well at least I asked!)

                         "No darling, one drink only.  I've already been lenient on times, you not working and allowing you to drink at all, please respect my decisions." (the man's got a point!)

                          " I'm struggling to do that darling, there is little rational." (OK, perhaps rude I get that now! isn't Hindsight a glorious this!)

                           "Here's the rational. You've got tons of work to do tomorrow, if you drink and have a late night you'll be tired an hung over tomorrow and not get as much done as you would if you didn't drink and had a good night's sleep.  Do as I ask please (he mean's tell!), I'm trying to help you."

Dang, I hate it when my HOH is right.  Just once I wish he wasn't!

So there you have it.  Ok, so I have softening in my thinking since I starting writing this.  He was fair and I was pushy and not submissive at all!  But I didn't drink more than one and I came home one minute over the curfew! There's something I guess!


  1. I really identify with this scenario Charlie, the HoH has made up his mind, however we still want to push a bit further, and have our cake and eat it, or in this case drink and drink it. I think they sense the ploy and then they being the HoH see it as us challenging their authority, we as women are great negociators, however we fail to see ahead that unless we tread carefully, what we will negociate ourselves into is a trip across their knee, and a few well chosen words about respect, and the final word belonging to them.

    You are not alone in this.....struggle
    His Princess

  2. Hi Hi Princess!
    Thanks for reading and commenting.

    Yes it is a struggle, but after reading it again I realise that I was totally out of line in pushing him and pushing him!

    His reply was, 'I don't appreciate you pushing me, my word is final!'

    Women eh? We are really difficult aren't we?

  3. Hi there! I read your blog faithfully- sorry I commented to your husbands first but my computer was acting up and my comments did not post to you ! : ). I share your struggles, really I do. We are not as far on our journey but your experiences help me work some things out emotionally. I think we are kindred spirits in thoughts, desires and needs! This sure is a tough road but I think it will all be worth it in the end when we have the courage to rise above and be real with at least one other soul in this life and be vulnerable... That is truly what marriage is all about- becoming "one." Good luck with your husband, I can tell how much you love each other!! : )

    1. Hi Kristin, thank you for reading and commenting.

      What a lovely comment.

      I am glad to have helped you in some way. DD can be very trying at times, mainly because often I cannot identify my own thoughts and emotions. I am learning to now, and I find that as time goes on, it becomes easier and easier.

      Take care.

  4. I hate obedience..grrrr. I will tell you though, it does get easier in time.

  5. I hope so, or I shall have a concaved behind! It will literally be worn away!