Friday, 1 June 2012
Exhaustion and Maintenence
Today marks the final day of my two year Foundation Diploma in Fine Art! HOOORAH!
It has been a very hard slog.
For the past four weeks I have been powering hard to get the best grade, working all day at college, and getting home and working some more.
I have been rude at times, not seriously, but snappy.
It is because I have been under pressure and I haven't slept well. But no excuse for it.
Last night I was SOOOOOOOOOO shattered that I crawled into the house, dragged myself around till bed time where I plonked myself in bed and checked my email.
I could barely keep my eyes open when my darling came into the room.
He sat on the bed. 'Come here' he said, beckoning me to our usual spanking place - the edge of the bed.
I couldn't believe it, was he really going to spank me now?
'I haven't done anything' I said indignantly.
'You need it' he said. Talk about taking the initiative!
I knew he was right though and I was too tired to put up much of a fight!
I laid there, too tied to even squirm.
It was lovely to feel like he was in control, tired or no.
The thing is that this course has always been a dream of mine. At school when I was choosing what to do at university, I wanted to do a course like this so that I could go on to university and study art, but my parents wouldn't let me. They said that if I did they wouldn't financially support me (not that they did anyway!), they believed that I would 'doss' around and not get a 'real' job.
My reaction, as the rebellious woman that I am, was to do as I was told and not do the art course, but at the same time leave the country and go to Mexico to work as a volunteer with underprivileged children.
Years go by and I marry my wonderful man, a full time musician and proof that you can follow your dreams and still make enough money to support your family.
After our daughter was born, I was feeling antsy. I had previously worked as a journalist and had also been studying hard and now I was a full-time Mum, with nothing to occupy my spare time.
My wonderful man encouraged me to apply for the course, taking our daughter for two days a week.
He made my dream come true. It was my only 'what if' in life and now I have fulfilled it, thanks to his help.
My heart fills with the warmth of my love for him as I am writing this.
On Thursday I received a text message from him as I was leaving college at 6pm.
'When are you coming home darling, what do you want for dinner?'
I was so touched, never before has he done this but it was such a wonderful gesture.
He also made extra for my lunch the next day and packed it in a lunch box in the fridge. I felt so looked after and loved. I also did when I received my maintenance spanking.
Sounds crazy I know, but it was him keeping our family on the straight and narrow, keeping me submissive and respectful and all harmony was restored.
So darling this is directly to you. Thank you for helping me to make my dreams come true. Thank you for supporting me and for encouraging me to do this. I could never have done it without you and I can't really believe that I have finished it. Thank you darling. I love you so very very much. I am a very lucky woman.