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Monday, 2 July 2012

A problem shared

Recently I opened up to a close friend of mine.

Not a Dd friend, but a friend from university who, because of life getting in the way and geographical location differences, I have not kept in close enough contact with.

While at uni, we shared a fantasy.

The fantasy came from the film Secretary.  She lent it to me when we lived together, and we both admitted that a strong powerful man who didn't fear putting a wayward wife over his knee was no bad thing!

Years go by (about 5 I think), I get married and Dd comes into my life.

It took me by force like a storm.  It sucked me up, spat me out, forcing me to confront issues that I didn't know existed.

It came with such energy, such gusto, it barely gave me time to stop and catch my breath.

At first I found it very confusing.  It encouraged me to to be better.  To be better as a mother, wife, as a human being.  It encouraged me to show kindness to others, to analyse my own behaviour and actions and to strengthen the already concrete bonds between me and my husband.

In the early days I shared this journey with three friends.

The first thought that Dd could only be a sex thing. 'Do you have sex afterwards?' she inquired.
'Sometimes', I said.
'Where there you have it, it's a sex thing'. She said, and it wasn't mentioned again.

The second, who is the most in need of a spanking out of all the women I know, said 'I'm jealous, I wish my husband was that strong'.  But it was never mentioned again.

The third who I shall call Big D, stayed with me on the journey.  I may not have mentioned it every time I saw her, but I did keep the conversation alive.

She seemed to get it.

Over the past few years I have sent her links to this blog and that blog, and this quote and that quote, to try and ease her into this life of mine.

Then finally, last week, I felt it was time.

I emailed her my blog link.

She, who was sat in a cafe in Rome at the time, was shocked and unable to get to a computer!

But the deed was done.  I was nervous, I was thinking, 'Oh gosh, she is gonna freak, does she know that my husband uses his belt on me?'

'Will the idea be very different from reality, as shown in my blog?'

A few days ago she called and she was intrigued.  She had questions, but she thought in the same way as me.

It was lovely to finally share this with a tangible friend.

It was lovely to finally intermingle the two worlds, Dd and Life!

So Big D, I know you will read this.

Thank you for not being judgmental.  Thanks for not thinking the way convention tells us to in the west.

I can't wait to see you in a few weeks.



  1. Me too... Really looking forward to exchanging ideas from a DDer to a non DDer... thank you for this post. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sharing and penning this too

  2. Ha. Interesting pseudonym!! You are understanding all the acronyms then?