I am already horrified by myself as I write this, and it isn't written yet!
Facts about me to enlighten you as to why I am astonished about the subject I am about to write about:
- I was raised by feminists and raised to be a feminist - my father was a hippy and didn't discipline me regularly at all, however he was furious when, at the age of 15, I allowed a boy to pay for me on a date!
- I went to an all girls school - A world where women were capable of every career, where being a wife and mother was never really mentioned. I went to school alongside future politicians, doctors and lawyers. In school hymns, where the rest of Christian society was singing 'Onward brothers onward', my school sang, 'onward sisters onward!' All teachers who were married were known as Ms, so that they were not perceived as being 'chained down' by the name of their husbands.
- Journalism and politics were my life. Just three years ago I was on BBC Radio 5 and BBC 1's Question Time debating politics with key politicians, in addition to writing about human rights violations in the national press - I was not a wife and mother, cleaning and cooking diligently!
Or perhaps before marriage and a child? Who knows, most likely it is a bit of both!
So to be sat here debating the reasons why having a clean and tidy house for when my husband comes home from work, is astonishing!
I know he is happy when he gets in from work to find a clean house. I asked him why and he said. "It shows that everything is flowing as it is supposed to. It shows that you are willingly submitting to me. I have just got home from working hard and have come home to see that you are working just as hard, meeting me in the middle, both of working together, creating our strong family unit."
I used to be a depressive, I say 'used to', what I actually mean is that I am no longer on medication, but still flow in and out of negative thought patterns. To quote Winston Churchill, the 'Black Dog' will never leave, but I am currently comfortable sat here with him in his cage, rather than massacring my face!
When the house is clean and organised, my husband said that it shows just how good I am doing in my mind.
It is the physical window into my mental state.
So last night, my darling boy came home to a tidy and clean house, his dinner cooked (a scrummy mezze plate of roast walnut and beetroot hummus, minty fallafal, puy lentil salad, green beans and char grilled aubergine brushcetta), his wife asleep within her curfew and his race suit darned (he takes part in motor racing and broke his suit.)
I wasn't there but I know he would have come home with a smile on his face!
At 1 am, I was conscious of him coming to bed. He then performed another act whereby I am submissive and he is the dominant party! In my sleepy state, I know it was his way of saying, 'yes, this lady is mine, I take care of her and she takes care of me.'
It's a great partnership, even if he does wake me up in the night!