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Sunday, 9 September 2012

Dd and the support network

At the beginning, Dd was hard.

We struggled.

I struggled and he struggled.

I couldn't understand my emotions and thought processes.

Dd forced me to think in a way that I hadn't done before.

I was always confused and couldn't understand what was going on inside my head, nor my consequent actions.

He struggled too.

He couldn't understand how to be consistent.

He couldn't understand why I said I needed discipline, leadership and strength from him but then I would defy him when he went to discipline me, undermine his leadership and ignore his strength.

The beginning was hard and it was made worse by the fact that I felt alone.

I couldn't share these problems with others around me as I felt no one I knew could understand.

Many times I threw in the Dd towel, unable to cope with all of these emotions alone.

But then I found the Dd online community.

I found the LDD network and I started this blog.

I have met some wonderful people.  I have built and am still building a strong network around me and we have kept going on our Dd path ever since.

I am still being held up by this network but it is now coming full circle. I now find that I am supporting other Dd couples who are at the beginning of their journey.

Two years ago I never believed that I would love my husband leading our family.  That I would adore doing what I can to please him, to support him and to follow him as his supportive wife but that is how it has turned out.

So thank you.

Thank you for writing the blogs that I found invaluable for advice.
Thank you for creating the networks that I have turned to when I had nowhere else to turn to for encouragement.
Thank you for writing me emails and getting in touch.
Thank you for calling me for a chat.
Thank you for replying to my texts.
Thank you for answering my emails and blog comments.
Thank you for having a cup of tea with me.
Thank you for commenting on my blog
Thank you for reading my blog.

Dd is confusing, difficult and hard work but SO worth the work.

My husband's friends ask him how he found such a supportive and loyal and loving wife, my friends ask me how I found such a strong and devoted husband and strangers ask us what our secret is.

If you feel alone, reach out for help and advice.  I never believed I would be meeting and befriending other Dd couples but here I am connecting and sharing with other Dd couples in the UK.

I have always feared that my love and relationship was temporary, due to having never seen a happy life-long couple in my childhood, now I am certainly more hopeful and know that I can use this tool to cement our marriage in time.

Thank you.


  1. The LDD Network is a better place because you and your husband joined! So glad you feel welcome and have made friends through the Network! I believe that was the reason it was started!

  2. I find that so many of the things you post I can relate too. Thank you for blogging. It is a joy to read.

    1. Thank you Kat, it's posts like that that keep me blogging!

  3. I agree, support and friendship is priceless in this lifestyle.

    I don't have many dh friends, but the ones I have are such a treasure. I value them greatly.

  4. Thank you C for your support over the last couple of weeks (is it only two weeks!). I really appreciate your advice and you have made life so much easier for me by being on the other end of my texts.

  5. Great post! I LOVE reading your blog! :)

  6. I am pushing the "LIKE" button on this post (and this blog too, actually). God Bless You and Yours, Belle L.

  7. Yes, I agree that support and understanding are invaluable when beginning and continuing with Dd. We have only met one other Dd couple, but it helped my husband more than I can explain, and I value that friendship tremendously.

    I know that others have noticed the changes in us, and they are not sure why. All that matters to me, is that our marriage is stronger, and we are happier as individuals too. :-)

  8. My wife and I are fairly new at ldd and we r trying to find others like us in our area plz any help Ty

    1. Where are you from? I have met Dd women through this blog and through the LDD netwok (there is a 'join' button on my homepage. It's a great resource to meet or just chat to people.