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Saturday, 29 December 2012

Dd in pregnancy is hard

It is hard watching my husband struggle with Dd.

It is such a difference.

So often I will feel myself being irritable or getting cross but my beloved often doesn't react.

I even instinctively wince a little, waiting for him to call me up on being rude but often it doesn't come.  It seems that he feels that he needs to allow me to act the way I want to act to protect our baby, as odd as that may sound.

We have had many conversations about it but I think that he is so worried about me and our baby, even if he can't admit it.

I didn't realise just how much last year's miscarriage and my subsequent hospital complications and blood transfusion affected him.  I think it has left an ever lasting imprint on him, it goes beyond him not wanting to spank me, which I understand, but he is also leaving me to be irritable and ignoring my rudeness and I am worried that in doing so he is harming our family unit.

There are times when I feel my hormones are raging and everyone around me clearly takes the brunt, which I really don't mean to happen, but I only seem to notice afterwards.

It doesn't feel like he is less manly or that he is week or that Dd is no longer a part of our life, I think actually it is very healthy for us, I think it puts everything into perspective a little.

He still says things like, 'Make sure you go to bed early tonight please' as he taps my bottom gently. So the smaller things haven't changed. I guess it's the bigger things, mainly the spanking.

I probably am just ignoring the niggling voice inside my head that is asking the most horrifying and frankly embarrassing question.

(she says in a whisper with a crimson face) Do I feel a need to be spanked?

I can't even believe I am asking this.  When he is spanking me I hate it, when I know he plans to spank me I hate it and yet I am sat here questioning if the lack of spanking in my life has left me wanting.

I don't think it is the very spanking itself or the pain that I miss, but spanking as a symbol and all that it represents.

The closeness and warmth that giving all of me to my husband makes me feel.  The femininity that I feel in being his wife in this way.  The symbol of dominance and leadership.  The very fact that he has expectations and requirements which can not be upheld without some form of repercussion if the rules aren't followed.

It will be interesting to see what happens after the baby is born and how our dynamic changes.

I am not worried but more interested to see how we progress.

Happy new year everyone.  I hope you had a lovely Christmas.

C

8 comments:

  1. We are expecting a baby too! And I agree with a lot of what you have written here. I too am a little anxious to see how things work once the baby is here.....I am a bit nervous about our dynamic!

    Congratulations on your pregnancy :)

    ~Lucy

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  2. It's understandable that your husband is worried about harming you and/or the baby especially considering your previous health issues.

    Your love/hate issue with spanking is also understandable and something we have all dealt with at one time or another. LOL

    My ex and I dealt with the spanking while pregnant issue also. He discovered that he could safely spank me with a leather belt with me supported on the bed with pillows. grrrr

    I'm sure you both will settle in to a new "norm" once the baby arrives. ;)

    Hope you had a lovely Christmas also C and wishing you, your husband and your soon to arrive little one a wonderful New Year.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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  3. I understand why he would be cautious. I think that is a good thing. Maybe as time goes along, he will feel more comfortable with other means of punishment. I really don't think I would feel comfortable in saying it was safe to spank someone, especially if they had a miscarriage before. If nothing else, if there were any complications, there would be angst about whether it was due to spanking, and it could cause some real resentment vs guilt. Try to enjoy your pregnancy in the feel good times, and just try to pamper each other. The day of delivery will be here before you know it. God Bless You and Yours, Belle L.

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  4. Hi! I'm new here but have enjoyed reading what I have thus far. I just wonder if you guys may be able to incorporate some other type of discipline thorough out your pregnancy(congrats by the way!) Something that would equally get the job done. And if you like the whole set up that this dd allows then stern words and tasks given and such should remind you that your roles are still as you feel comfortable with. You probably don't know my story but I have a dd blog though I don't have a dd marriage...(long story) and I find that those little things my Jack does do occasionally work just as well as any spanking would. Also observing the behaviors of friends and how they react under stress really reminds me of how I DONT want to be to Jack or anyone for that matter and that helps check the rudeness or whatever you want to call it. Considering how your hubby feels about rudeness I know you can find a way to remind yourself (and the both of you can figure out a way that works in case you forget) for the next 30 weeks or so. But I totally get the whole missing it thing. Believe me. Nice to meet you!

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  5. We use light spankings 4-5 times a week to keep me on track and to help me reach my goals, one of which is to be a happy and content submissive wife.
    My hubby isn't a spanking type of person, but he can live with these "learning spankings" because he loves the change in me. I no longer need to undermine his authority, negotiate or contradict him. It is a wonderful feeling and gets easier everyday. Learning/reminder spankings keep punishment at bay. I will only be punished if I break the 4 D rules: dishonesty, disloyalty, disrespect or disobedience. (and I have no need to break these rule - because I have chosen this lifestyle!)
    Have you tried weekly talks to discus your needs? They really help. I just wrote about this on my blog!
    Hope things go well for you two!
    Jack's Jill

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  7. I'm glad for you but I want to know can you spank when pregnant?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi redhead diaries.
      Interesting question, I myself scoured the internet for information relating to this for quite some time.
      He originally decided not to, as we had had a miscarriage. Then we both found that I needed it. It is now rare and infrequent, but still happens. I don't lie flat on his knee any more, and the spanking isn't as it was, to be honest he has only really used his hand, and I have found that my bottom is very sensitive at the moment, so it still has the desired effect!

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