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Sunday, 15 September 2013

Coming out of the Dd closet

I've always been relatively open about the fact that my beloved wears the trousers in our relationship.

Open to my friends that is. I pretty much admit to Dd, apart from the spanking part!

I'm not sure my friends would understand every aspect of domestic discipline.  Most of my friends are liberal, left-wing, politically minded, vegetable growing, parents. The type of people who campaign about the fact that their allotment has been spayed with pesticides! ( An actual conversation that I had with a friend yesterday!)

Some are religious, though most are not. But most wouldn't understand my husband spanking me.  I think it is just so far from the cultural norm here.  I think it's too much to ask most of my outspoken friends to see a difference between Domestic discipline and domestic abuse. Of course you and I both know that there are two main differences between them. Firstly consent, I allow my husband to do it if he deems it necessary and if I remove consent he doesn't do it.  And secondly I am happy and so is my husband and my children, who incidentally are not spanked!

But this week I told a friend of mine.  I told her everything about Domestic discipline. Of course I told her everything bar the spanking part first and allowed her to digest it, then told her that my husband spanked me from time to time.

I was a wimp, I told her on facebook chat and waited nervously for her to digest it.  When I didn't get a reply I asked her what she thought. It turns out she was laughing too hard to type!

The reason I told her is that she is, quite possibly the least judgmental person I know.

She is lovely and kind and caring and a great Mum.  She is recently having a hard time at the moment and I wish I could do more to help her.

She had undiagnosed hip displacement and it has left her in a wheel chair at 25.  She is in pain every day and there is no cure, no easy fix. I feel so terrible, I want to help but can't. She is also so positive and has such an amazing spirit and energy. If you didn't know her you wouldn't think she was suffering, you always think she is happy.

So at least me telling her that my husband spanks my bottom made her giggle!

It is hard telling anyone about Domestic Discipline, but with my friend, I knew she would never judge me.  I didn't think twice about it.

When someone is as positive as she is, life seems a whole lot easier.

We have to be thankful for what we have.


  1. Hi Spanked wife,
    I am due lurking after many mths of reading your wonderful blog. Firstly, congratulations on your new baby girl! I, too had PPD. Not fun at all. It does get better if that's any consolation. My second birth was worse, btw. I had to comment on this post because it really hit home for me. I have to thank you for writing about being thankful for ehat we have. All too often I find myself complaining about either what I have isn't good enough or what I don't have. I complain about having to work, etc, etc... So thank you for the reminder! Oh, and you are very brave opening up about DD! I love that you gave your friend a good laugh!
    Take care,

  2. Thank you for sharing, this made me smile. How wonderful to have a friend you felt you could share with. I love her response LoL


  3. I have a friend I shared with as well, and it was so freeing. I'm glad that you found you could do the same. I too let people know that the Duke wears the pants in our family... they just don't know about the spanking. :) I am glad you have her in your life, and that she has you.