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Wednesday, 23 October 2013

It's the small things

I have recently been talking to a friend who is new to Dd.

It has been fascinating to watch someone else's journey from the very start. (of course not literally watching now that would be odd)

It has allowed me to take a step back and appreciate what we have achieved but also where we can improve. I realised that it really isn't any large gesture that is needed for this lifestyle to work, it is the small things.

My husband is very thankful for my submission. By submission I mean, I respect his judgement in all things. 

Well, I say all things, I try my best! - But I think I can always improve, just as we can always improve in all areas in life.

I want to make him happy. He works very hard to protect our family and to financially support us and I too want to take care of him.

The little things that I choose to do are:

Wake him with a coffee in the morning on a day he won't want to wake up early.
Make him his favorite breakfast in bed.
Kiss him passionately when he least expects it.
Try as hard as I can to listen and seem interested when he is talking about motor sport or something that I really don't care about.
Ask his permission when I am doing something that he may not approve of.
Allow him to lead in all things.
Allow him to lead in the bedroom. If he wants to make love I try as hard as I can not to reject him.
Try as hard as I can to be attractive. I know he loves me to wear dresses, so I wear them most days. He actually thanked me the other day for trying hard with how I look.

So there you have it, my recipe of small things to make my husband feel king of our family.  And he treats me like a queen in return. The more submissive I am in our marriage the more he leads. I don't have to try and help him to lead, I just have to submit, to openly show that I am willing to follow him and he leads with his head held high.

So to anyone out there worrying that her man needs help to lead, just submit. It took me a while to truly feel submission in my heart, but you can still show submission my little gestures and that feeling in your heart will follow in time.


  1. Those are really good ideas and great advice! :)

  2. Hello C,
    Thank you so much for this post. It really inspired me and I too am starting to see this at work. I used to desire my husband to make me happy, little did I know that it would be in making him happy that would bring me the most happiness. Thank you again for sharing with us!

  3. Thank you. This is spot on. And I will try harder as you said.

  4. Hi C,

    This is a great post! It really is the small things isn't it. They often say so much and mean the most to our partner. That's a wonderful list too!

    This got me thinking. Thank you :)


  5. Right you are. We can only control ourselves. (sheesh it has gotten to the point where I don't even like TYPING the word control..LOL). I think of it like a snow ball at the top of the hill. You start the submission snow ball rolling and it picks up his dominance and starts growing. Sometimes we need a little push to restart, but the growth can still happen if we plug on.
    I hope your friend found this helpful.

    1. I believe she did, incredibly so actually!

  6. I love all those small things. It seems like every day I realize ways I have not been fully supportive and am able to shift into making my husband come first.

    1. It's interesting isn't it? We can always do better. If it makes our men feel just a tiny bit more loved then it's all worth it!