Total Pageviews

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Independent girl no more

I'm currently building up a business with my Dad. A week or so ago I was asked to go to Paris for a trade fair. I know Paris well and am well travelled but gone are the days since I would jet off without my husband.

He said he didn't want me to go. 

It turned out that my father and I decided that it wasn't the best business decision anyway. But I was furious that J didn't support me in going.

He said I was pregnant and used to being looked after so he worries that I would no longer be capable of looking after myself in a foreign  country.

Before marriage I was a very head strong and confident young woman  who ignored anyone who stood in my way if it prevented me from doing something that I wanted to do, even if they carried the voice of reason.

This week I had planned to go away with my two daughters. One is under a year and the other is four.

We planned to drive 5 hours to London, stopping on the way at my great aunt's house,  explore London for three days, then drive 3 hours to Bristol and stay with my family for a few days, leaving Daddy a week to work on an important work project.

Again London is a city I know well and driving Isn't something I worry about.

However something was different this time. I was apprehensive.  I was apprehensive about getting public transport sport with two tiny children and I was apprehensive about driving through an unknown city.

After the first terrible nights sleep with both children shouting all night, I was ready to call it a day and go home.  I was ashamed to admit that I really missed my man.

I missed his loving and protective arms around me and my girls at all times of the day and night

I felt so lonely and vulnerable without him.

The old me was furious with the new me. How pathetic and week. I'm an independent woman who needs no man to look after her. I can do anything,  I'm invisible!

No. None of that is true. I am a needy and vulnerable wife who is nothing without her strong man to lead her out of possible danger.

It's so lovely to be home now but I've been left shaken up. It's so silly. I feel like I've been through an ordeal. I made it 5 days away and drove hundreds of miles. 

I don't think I will be going away without him anytime soon. 

10 comments:

  1. You are still that strong, independent woman. Traveling with small children is stressful at the best of times and especially if you are on your own. I bet hormones played a part too.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am with Roz. This does not mean you are not independent. But it does mean that you've learned that your husband has a strength that you like to lean on. He's there for you, and he's got you, and you find that comfort and security very safe and calming. Of course you miss it when he's gone. You can do things without him, it's just harder now that you know how good it is to have help.

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

    ReplyDelete
  3. Learn to be a true woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A true woman and an adventurous woman is what she is. I have two children and they are not as young as hers and the idea of taking my two anywhere over a long period of time alone would stress me out to the max. She has every right to miss her husband and all he gives her when they are apart. Any loving wife would miss their loving husband for many reasons. It doesn't make her weak, it makes her normal.

      Delete
    2. She is a true woman and an adventurous one! I I have two children not as young as hers and traveling with them alone for days would stress me out most of the trip. She missed her husband. Any loving wife who is cherished by her husband, would. It's normal.

      Delete
    3. And what is a true woman? Not sure what you mean without clarification. I am pretty sure I am a true woman. I give myself to my kids and husband. I go out of my way to show my children how I expect them to live, with confidence, open mindedness and free thinking. I also work part time but put them first.

      Delete
  4. You silly woman...as Roz and Es May pointed out...you are still a strong, independent woman. But sheesh...pregnant and driving hours with 2 little ones...driving unfamiliar roads...being away from your husband and partner...those are normal reactions...NOT a sign of weakness and definitely NOT "nothing without her strong man...!"

    Gonna turn this around...here's a different way of looking at it...put it in very simple terms...do you consider me "nothing without my strong man?"

    Take care of yourself...sending lots of positive energy your way.

    Blessings...
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, 'silly woman'! You sound like an hoh! ;) I know. I was feeling a little low when I wrote that post.

      Delete