Total Pageviews

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

The effect of my man

It's funny but the more I love and respect my man and the more I make way for his leadership in our marriage, the less he has to do to maintain our status quo.

Today we were shopping in the hardware shop for bits and bobs for the house. 

He said he needed drill bits and I patronisingly asking him if he meant he had lost them and was buying more as it was easier.

'No I need a different size'. He said. This was at the till just as we were about to pay.

I looked heaven wards and said, 'You have lots of sizes you have juts lost them, you are being lazy'.

He carried on buying drill bits and then we left the shop.

Outside he asked me to come to him so he could say something quietly to me in the street.

I had no idea he was about to tell me off, I thought he was about to say something about someone in the shop.

'Listen, if you ever embarrass me or patronise me like that again in public, I will put you over my knee, pregnant or not, do you understand?' He said.

I was so taken aback, I hadn't noticed.

I said I was sorry and we walked to the car. At that moment I could have cried. I am not sure why. I felt terrible. I think I didn't expect it and was also embarrassed and saddened by the fact that I had humiliated him

But I was so taken a back by my reaction.  I felt terrible. There was no need to do anything further on his part as I was mortified for upsetting him.

It's amazing really how different things are four years down the line.

It works though and that's what matters.

I love and respect his leadership and I really don't want to ever be one of those women who laugh at their husbands in public.  But it looks like he won't let that happen anyway! 

36 comments:

  1. Like you said in your last post "love that bossy man".. I totally relate. God bless you both and your family. -Belle L.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is beautiful! To come to a place where you don't need to defend yourself it great but even better that you could feel the disappointment in yourself for having shown disrepest. I so wish more of the world would enter DD because then maybe their would be alot more decent people around. It still makes me laugh to think that if we just offer respect the return is respect! Too many people get caught up in wanting to change their partner when if they just changed their attitude toward the partner the partner generally changes! Thank you for sharing your life with us C it is always so inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Eagle that is very kind. It's nice to share to others who understand.

      Delete
  3. Wow C...You are lucky you just got a quiet scolding. Proud of you for recognizing and being sorry for your behavior.

    Hope everything is going well with the pregnancy.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
  4. I get ya.. I really do. I am a firey woman with a strong personality and a strong need to please.. My mouth works over time, and now when he speaks softly in my ear with that stern no nonsense tone shocked me, then.. was wonderful because I felt safer..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's lovely to feel safe isn't it Dana

      Delete
  5. I love this. Sounds as though you two are in a really great place. I too relate to those quietly spoken, yet stern words being shocking, yet wonderful at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi, I just wanted to say I love your blog! I have been reading it for a while, and find it really inspiring.

    I am a Finnish woman (or maybe still a girl since I'm only a year past 20), not yet married, but having some form of a DD relationship with my boyfriend. It's not yet very well developed, we don't live together since we live in different cities, but maybe in the future :)

    I have always known that I want some form of a DD relationship, although I haven't always known what to call it. To my boyfriend it is a new thing, and he is still pretty much trying to get his head around everything it involves.

    So I really enjoy reading your blog, and maybe get some ideas for the future.. :)

    Thanks for writing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks that's really kind. Hope it goes well for you and your choices make you happy.

      Delete
  7. Not quite sure what to say here so I'll just say that I can relate as well. M hasn't had to scold me in public yet but maybe that's because we're new to it and still learning where each other's boundaries are. There's also the fact that I'm not usually disrespectful in public, or I try not to be at least. Sometimes I come close but he just gives me a *look* and I suddenly realise what's happened. Funny how you only notice afterwards isn't it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL "I wish more of the world would enter DD" enjoy your kink but stop trying to push it off on other people. Not everyone finds it as kinky as you do.
    And seriously, keep your mouth shut about "changing your partner." What do you know about it? You have no idea what misery my family's been put through because of the emotional abuse my depressed mom suffered and especially the physical abuse dad subjected my brothers to. "Just give respect ". Walk a day in our shoes and see how all-knowing you are then. You don't know squat about what you're talking about. You just live a kinky, sheltered little box.
    LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Anon...one comment regarding a wish is not anyone trying to 'push' anything off on to other people.

      You don't have to agree with this lifestyle...it is definitely not for everyone.

      Why are you here? Just don't read here...very simple.

      Delete
    2. Dear anon narrow minded. I agree with free of speech so I publish silly comments like yours but kindly don't i suit my readers. If you don't like what you read here, don't Google it! Go and take a walk or do something productive with your life!

      Delete
  9. I also find it funny how the woman's the one who's always expected to "change" and "offer up respect" first. What do you all know about it? You're a bunch of infantilized, pampered women who need husbands as father figures. You wouldn't know anything about REALLY trying to make a terrible marriage work. I almost laughed out loud at some blog where a woman claims to be seeking the DD lifestyle to "save her marriage. " Why does her marriage need to be "saved"? There's no physical abuse. No verbal abuse. She's taken care of and provided for. She has a decent man. Oh wait - its not kinky enough for her. Of COURSE her marriage isn't good enough, which is why she'll harangue her husband day and night to get him to become "dominant ". If my dad had been as nice as her husband maybe my parents would have had a good marriage. You don't know anything about REALLY working to save a failing marriage, outside of what's kinky and hot. If you want to look at women who are trying to force their husbands to "change", point the finger at your little DD friends whining because their perfectly nice decent husbands wont go for there kink. Keep your mouth shut.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon...don't know if you are the same Anon from the previous comment...have a feeling you are.

      You don't have to agree with this lifestyle. I have to wonder why you are visiting multiple DD blogs if you don't agree. Here's a suggestion...when you come across a website/blog you don't agree with, simply move on without spewing your venom...there is plenty on the internet to read.

      Sending positive energy to you.

      Delete
    2. Ha. Wow. Sometimes all you can do is laugh!

      Delete
    3. Excuse me Anon. I and a lot of the people who read this blog I am sure are not "infantilised pampered women who need husbands as father figures". My partner would be horrified if I even suggested the idea and yet we're finding our own way to make DD work for us. It isn't for everyone but stop trying to tear other people down simply because you don't agree with their viewpoint.

      Here's hoping you find something to read which doesn't upset you so much

      Delete
  10. Yes, which is what I do when I read your ridiculous arrogant comments.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oo she's still going. I really think my dear you need to get out more! And, oh the irony of you latest comment. Tehe. Some people amaze me.

      Delete
    2. LOL you lack intelligence, so stop trying to sound clever.

      You.need to get out more. Climb out of your sheltered, kinky little box and get a glimpse of the real world. Not everyone lives a life as tidy and sheltered as yours. You've done nothing to deserve it. You just love to pat yourself on the back and give yourself credit, like most of your kinky friends. But you deserve none.
      Never would any of the women who raised me dare to speak to their husbands in the store the way you did. Never would I speak to mine in that way. I'd be afraid of Gods wrath.
      You're an.undeserving brat. You know nothing about the real world. If your husband didn't go in for your little kink you'd treat him like absolute crap. Idiot.

      Delete
    3. And stop using pregnancy as an excuse.

      Delete
  11. "Ooh" I'd NEVER be one of those women who LAUGH at their husband's - the horror! " You already are as bad as any of them. You might as well get off your high horse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you are getting some sort of enjoyment out of this. It's good to have a past time.

      Delete
  12. You are an amazing couple. I love examples in real life that show DD is a positive and effective tool that works in some marriages. Your story is a perfect example of this.
    I like warnings...they are very efective. It's the embarrassment factor and for me, a lesson in humility. I would rather feel a little humility than have to feel the business end of a paddle across my backside. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Goldielocks, that is very kind of you.

      Delete
    2. I agree with Goldielocks, you are an inspiration to us all.

      Delete
  13. Dear Anon - I am starting to think that you need to go over some one's knee. Perhaps you don't feel like you would speak to men figures in your life with disrespect yet you feel you can insult and slander people you have never even met? And yes why are you here if you feel such contempt for what is written.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I just want to say that I love your blog. Thanks for being brave enough to put your thoughts out there. Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love your blog :-) in not sue my marriage is quite a dd one, but it certainly seems to be getting there. Ive had this feeling inside me since i can remember, i tried to brush it off for years but it always comes back to me. Anyways thanks for writing this blog its helped in so many ways :-) x

    ReplyDelete